Category: Uncategorized

I am recovering from Covid. I wish I didn’t have to say that, but there it is. Like so many people I know, I had Covid. I am grateful that it was a mild case. Two weeks ago on Friday it was decided I should get an infusion of monoclonal antibodies. It was almost 7:00pm though before the pharmacy department could submit the orders. No one would be in the infusion clinic that late, so the woman who called me gave me a number. “Heather,” she said, “no one is there to get these orders tonight, and you should give them some time tomorrow. But if you don’t hear from anyone by mid-afternoon, call this number.” She joked that whoever answered the on-call pager number would not be happy that she gave me that number, but she didn’t want me to get lost in the system. She knew it was not ideal to be starting the process late on a Friday night, and she wanted me to be equipped with what I would need to advocate for myself.

I did need the number.

On Saturday I talked to the person who answered the on call pager number. She listened to my story and made a few calls. She let me know that I would be scheduled for Monday, and that the infusion clinic would call me Sunday to give me the details. “Heather, I want to be sure you get the information you need tomorrow. If you don’t hear from anyone by mid-afternoon tomorrow, here is the direct number to the infusion clinic.”

I didn’t need the number.

On Sunday I was given incredibly helpful details and all the information I needed. But at the end of the call, you guessed it, I was given a number to call if I had any issues on Monday.

I did need the number.

As you might imagine, UNMC is very careful with Covid positive patients. I’ve been almost everywhere at the Med Center, but this was a parking lot I had never seen. I called the number, and a woman with enormous patience talked me through turn after turn until I found my way.

My experience in the clinic was extraordinary. I’ve already written UNMC about my appointment, but what made the strongest impression on me was the way in which every single person in the process empowered me. At every step, I was in possession of the necessary information to advocate for myself.

There is a sense of calm that comes with knowing you are not dependent on people or systems to work without hiccups. There will always be hiccups. Without the numbers to call, my situation would have been fraught with anger and frustration and fear. I felt none of that. The staff made sure I had what I needed; they empowered me.

We all need an assist from time to time, someone to spot us as we get stronger.  But there is no greater feeling than be able to do it yourself.

It feels good to be the one who can get things done for others, but it is far better to be the one who empowers them to get things done for themselves. 

I was scrolling through social media one night when I came across this picture. I mean I think almost anyone would stop and ask what was happening here. Then two weeks later, this. Another scroll-stopping moment. Anna and Sean are having fun at work!

Never underestimate the power of working with people you genuinely enjoy and having fun at work.

This week I was on a Zoom with a colleague, and I noticed a hand hanging from his ceiling. Just the hand, not the rest if the body. When he noticed my expression he said, “either my staff is embracing Halloween, or I am in some trouble.”

Those people know how to have fun. They once turned him into a bobble-head which they photographed in all kinds of interesting places before gifting him with both the bobble-head and the pictures. He genuinely enjoys them, and they genuinely have fun at work.

Some weeks we spend more time with our work family than our actual family. It matters that we know them, that we like them, and that we find ways to have fun at work. Our overall wellness depends on it.

I have been blessed in my life. I have family and friends who would and have done anything for me. They’ve shown up each and every time I’ve needed them. They have fed my family when we’ve been in crisis. They have loaned us cars when we’ve had the occasional accident. They have cleaned our house, driven the children places, taken them so we could get a break. You name it, they’ve done it.

Of course it’s the intangible ways they’ve shown up that have meant the most. It’s the phone call after a bad day, the text to ask how we’re doing, the flowers that show up for no reason at all.

They have been there for every single thing we’ve ever needed.

But this week I am reminded of just how big our tribe has been. Besides our family and friends there have been teachers and pastors and neighbors. Such great neighbors.

My children had Ed & Linda, Brian & Brenda, the Savages, the Barbers, the Geigers, now Eric & Stacy and Paul and Terry and June. People who watched out for them. People who would step in and help if needed.

We’ve been blessed.

Our tribes come in many forms. Some are filled with people we see everyday. Some are filled with those we only hear from once and awhile. All are important to us.

Pay attention this week. And maybe reach out to a few those in your tribe who you haven’t talked to in awhile. Life is fragile, and every day is a chance to let the people you love know it!

A year ago I wrote this blog with a friend. We made the decision that the time was not right to post it. There was too much trauma, too much to absorb to share it at the time. But I found it again this week, and I felt like the time was right. I’m not updating it. I’m not making the verbs past tense. We are still in this. But I am asking that we reflect on a year ago. I showed more grace to others and to myself a year ago. I took more walks a year ago. I found more intentional ways to connect with the people I love a year ago. I think it would be a mistake not to learn from the last year, not to reflect on what matters most, and not to continue living our lives with that in mind.

There is no silver lining to the Coronavirus. There is no silver lining to people gasping for breath or dying alone. There is no silver lining to overwhelmed hospitals or lack of ventilators or health care workers being forced to choose who lives and who dies. No silver lining to any of that. COVID-19 is a global pandemic, and there is no silver lining to a global pandemic.

But in order to fight the spread of the virus, we have come together and made significant changes to our way of life.  Closing bars and restaurants and gyms and even schools has forced us into a more simple existence.  We are making do with less.  We are buying less.  We are running around less.  We are living smaller lives with greater significance.

And that, when the illness and the death and the crisis is over, will be a silver lining.

We are doing less of the things that aren’t really good for us anyway.  Gambling is at an all-time low.  Crime rates are dropping.  Pollution is lessening.  We are giving our children afternoons and evenings off instead of keeping them scheduled from sun up to sun down.

Hospitals are only treating those with the most needs. We are feeding the hungry and providing access for those who can’t afford it.

We no longer judge weddings or funerals by how many people were there or how elaborate the flowers were or how much money was spent planning it.  It’s about the people we love the most coming together in those moments.

Sports headlines are about the players.  They’re about what we miss- people doing what they love and pushing themselves to compete at the highest levels. It’s not about winners and losers.  It’s about the joy of the game.

We are working out for free.  Kids are playing outside without equipment or video games or electronics, using their imaginations.  

Families are spending time together, sitting on front porches, taking walks together.  Parents are focused on their children.  Siblings are talking to each other and playing with each other and recognizing the bond they will always share. 

We are cooking more.  Even if we get take-out or delivery to support our local businesses, we are eating together at home.

We call each other and text and snap and Facetime just to connect.  We are connecting with people who have always been there, but we have been too busy to pause and take the time to see.

All of these are silver linings.  

All of these are things that we should hold dear and take with us into the after.  Because there will be an after.  And if we can learn from this current way of life, there will also be a silver lining.