heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

We Don’t Always Know

I just finished watching the most recent episode of this season’s Ted Lasso. Say what you will about Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso is the real deal. Every episode brings me almost to tears and affirms for me the goodness of people. The end of this one, filled with grace and forgiveness, was especially heart-warming. The episode though left me wondering something, so I did a quick IMDB search. Yep, as I suspected, next week’s episode is the last of the season.

Worse, I learned upon further research, it’s the last of the series.

No sooner did I figure out that Ted Lasso is coming to an end than my husband tells me that this weekend’s episode of Succession is the last one of the… you guessed it… series.

What is happening?

I want to know when I am starting the final season of a show. I want to know that I should savor every moment of each episode. I want to slow down and enjoy the moments, the characters I’ve grown to care about. The sudden jolt shook me. Not real world shook me. I get it’s just television. But I was genuinely sad.

We should know when the end is coming, so we can prepare. There should be time to get our mind around what comes next. We should recognize the need to fully appreciate the experience.

But we don’t always know.

All too often significant things change in an instant. The unexpected can rock our world with absolutely no warning. Even when things happen slowly, the end of elementary school comes to mind, the moment often feels sudden. There’s a lesson in the end of Ted Lasso, and it isn’t even a subtle one.

We should always slow down and savor the moment. We should always pause to notice the sunset over the baseball field on a spring night or the clouds that roll in before a thunderstorm. We should always take the call even though we are busy.

Ultimately it is people who make a life. Our family, our friends, the woman at McDonalds who knows I like oatmeal in the morning. We should relish the time we have with our people.

Because we don’t always know.

heathercphipps Back to School, Community, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

You Love Your Students

I had the opportunity to listen to some of our students this week talk about what makes our school district special. Without exception, they all said the same thing. You.

They talked about their teachers making them feel like school was more than just school. They talked about it being a community. They talked about it being a family. They talked about the connections they have with the adults in the building.

You show up. You go to their games. You go to their performances. You read their writing. They said it over and over again.

You engage with them. You ask how their lives are going. You ask about their family. You notice things about their friends. You engage with them on a personal level. They notice.

You push them. You encourage them to be more than they thought they could be. You challenge them to learn more, try more, do more than they thought they could. They appreciate that.

You care. Beyond whether or not they learn the facts, the information. You care about them as people. And they know it.

Our schools are a community. Together our district is a community. Our students said it beautifully. They recognize how much more than reading, writing, and math is happening in our buildings. And they appreciate it. They know what makes this district special. You.

Thank you!

heathercphipps Blogging, Purpose, Uncategorized

Narrate the Story Well


I put off reading Where the Crawdads Sing for far too long. I’m not sure why. Everyone said I would love it. Everyone was reading it. But I put it off and put it off. When I finally did read it, I loved it. Just like everyone said I would.

It appears I have done it again. I started reading The Book Thief this week. It’s hardly new. In fact the movie based on it came out in 2013. (I haven’t seen that either.) And I am smitten. It is beautiful.

I will likely watch the movie once I finish the book, but I cannot imagine the story without the narrator. To me, the beauty in the story lies completely and totally with the narrator. His skill with language. His ability to talk right to me. His recognition that “the people left behind” have stories worth telling. And his love for the girl.

Did I mention that the narrator is Death? And again I am smitten.

There is something about a really good story that moves me. But there is something about a really good narrator, the ability to share someone else’s story, that moves me even more.

It got me thinking about our own stories.

I am a passionate advocate for telling your story. It’s hard to imagine someone who blogs who isn’t. Each of us has experiences and perspectives and stories that need to be told. Sometimes we share our stories ourself, but sometimes we get the joy and the honor and the responsibility to tell someone else’s story.

Tell it well.

I want to be the kind of person that shines a light on others. I want to be the kind of person who is looking for stories to be told. I want to be the kind of person who others trust with their ideas and their perspectives, and I want to put those things out there for the world to see.

I have a long way to go, but Death reminded me this week that narrating a story well is a worthy goal.

heathercphipps Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

Intention


I shared a Maya Angelou quote this week that talked about thriving, and a friend asked me if that was my one word for the year. It would be a good one.

But I have been focusing more on the word intention this year.

In meditation setting an intention is about aligning your thoughts and attitude for the day. It is about deciding how you want to show up in the world. I love that description! It’s not a SMART goal. In fact, it can be hard to measure. But it can impact our lives all the same.

Right about now I know some of you (I bet I could even name you) are saying, “uh oh, Heather is about to get touchy-feely.” I promise I’m not suggesting you have to meditate (although I know from personal experience that if you did you would find a calm and a focus that is hard to get without it).

I am simply suggesting that dedicating some time each week or each day to setting our intention, how we want to show up in the world, is time worth spending.

There are many ways to use the term intention. In the Catholic Church, a mass or prayer may have an intention. Often we say “that wasn’t my intention” when we have offended someone.

I am most fascinated though by the medical definition of intention. The term is used to describe the process by which wounds heal. Primary intention involves an incision which is stitched. The healing is faster and leaves less scar tissue.

Secondary intention is what happens when the wound must heal from the inside out. It takes longer. It leaves more scarring.

But it heals.

Our physical bodies have the ability to recover from injury. So do our minds.

If we have intention.

This week take the time to stop and listen to what your mind is trying to tell you.

How do you want to show up in the world?

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

Mary Anne Radmacher

 

heathercphipps Leadership, Positivity, Purpose, Stress, Uncategorized

Not My Circus

Every day any number of issues cross my path. Personal, professional. Big, small. The same is true for all of us.  Friends confide in us. Colleagues process through issues with us. Angry people vent to us.

A large portion of my job is to handle those issues.

But there are times when those issues are not mine to resolve. There are times when my role is to listen and to support but to stay quiet.

I tend to leap to trying to solve any problem in front of me, and that is not always the right thing to do.

I was reminded this week (okay last week…remember that technology ate the first version of this blog) that sometimes the best thing to do is to pause and give others the space to solve their own problems.

I am actually taking opportunities away from my friends and my colleagues when I suggest a solution.  First of all, my idea may very well not be as good as the idea from the person most directly involved.  Second, we get better every time we have to wrestle with a hard decision or tackle a difficult situation ourselves.

I have had amazing coaches and leaders in my life who have forced me to solve my own problems.  As many times as I have wanted to be “rescued” by someone else when faced with something hard, I have grown the most when left to handle it myself.  I need to allow the space necessary for people to work things out themselves.

Another thing happens when we insert ourselves in situations that are not ours to own.  We take on the emotion and the stress of the situation.  I believe empathy and compassion are essential.  We are better people when we care.  But taking on the stress of a situation that is not ours is not healthy.  We have enough of our own issues and enough of our own stress.

When I am working through an issue, there are moments when I need to give myself space to remove the emotional response, sort out my feelings on an issue, and plan for my next steps.

And I need to pause long enough to give others the same opportunity.  It “doesn’t diminish the relationship.  It is really quite the opposite.”

heathercphipps Back to School, Gratitude, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

I Got to Work on Christmas Day

My husband and I spent a few days in Kansas City after Christmas. It was cold, but it was fun to get away for a bit. We stayed in a hotel where breakfast is provided, and each morning I grabbed some food to eat in the room. The same woman was working both days. She was warm and friendly and helped get the morning off to a great start.

On the second day a mother popped in and asked if there was any hot chocolate. The woman working showed her where it was and then suggested that she also use some of the whipped cream by the waffles to top it off. The mom thanked her and explained that her daughter was going to love that.

After the mom left, the woman and I were talking. I told her that was a clever idea. She shared that she had gotten to work on Christmas Day, and she made cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles for all of the kids on Christmas morning. She talked about what a fun morning it was and how each of the children lit up when she gave them the hot chocolate. You could tell from her voice and her face and her energy that she genuinely had a good time.

I do not know anything about this woman. I do not know if she has children of her own who were at home without her on Christmas morning. I do not know if she celebrates Christmas. But I do know that she is great at her job! And I am not sure that I would have had such joy in my voice if I had been talking about working on Christmas. She genuinely meant it when she said, “I got to work on Christmas morning.”

Attitude is everything.

Yesterday I texted a friend and said that I had to write a blog. I have taken a few weeks off over the holidays, but it’s time to get back at it. The response was, “Why do you have to write one?” It reminded me of the woman at the hotel. I do not have to write a blog. I get to write a blog.

Verbs matter.

Today marks the end of winter break. Vacation is good. It is important to rest and relax and recharge. But tomorrow we get to step back into our schools and do some of the most important work there is. We get to greet our students by name and welcome them back to a safe and friendly place. We get to celebrate with the ones who had a great time, and we get to provide relief for the ones who did not spend their break with an abundance of food or clothes or gifts. Do not take it for granted that everyone had a great holiday. I am genuinely happy to get back to work. I am genuinely happy to have even a small piece in making a child’s eyes light up.

Tomorrow we get to go back to work!

heathercphipps Perseverence, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

When Your Best Isn’t Enough

We’ve all been there.  All of us.  At one time or another, we have all attempted something and come up short.  It might have been something as small as a grade on a paper or a test when we were in school.  It might have been something bigger like training for months to set a personal record in a half marathon.  Or it might have been something truly life-changing like taking a high-profile new job in an unfamiliar place halfway across the country.  Big or small, there is something especially painful about investing your time and energy into something, working hard, truly doing your best, and having it not be enough.   We’ve all been there.

I am not talking about that time I signed up to do a 5K and then never really got around to training.  That’s on me.  I’ve jumped head-first into plenty of endeavors only to find myself too busy to really invest the needed time to do it well.  I have a collection of hobbies in the garage that never really made their way into my daily routine.  Of course I am not an expert with my bow and arrow.  I’ve hardly ever used it.

No, I’m not talking about those things.  I am talking about the things that mattered.

I am talking about the things that were worth the time and money and patience and heart to get right.  I am talking about the things that got you up at 3:45 in the morning, the things that sent you back to school, the things you obsessed over and read about and journaled about, the things that convinced you to walk away from a safe job in a familiar place with people you knew only to start an adventure with an uncertain ending.

I’m talking about the pain that comes when one of those things doesn’t work out, when your best isn’t enough.  And we have all been there.

In those moments you have a choice.  You can choose to be defeated.  You can choose to wallow and retreat and shut yourself away.  You can choose to stop taking the big risks.

Or you can stand up, face the reporters (literal or figurative as they may be), and explain that you did your best.  You can continue to wake up at 3:45 and to take the big risks.  You can choose to hold your head up, maintain the highest levels of class and grace and dignity, and honestly mean it when you say that you would not have traded the experience simply because it did not end the way you had hoped.

“That wasn’t the measure of the experience.  It’s just the way it ended.” (Aaron Sorkin, The West Wing)

heathercphipps Leadership, Purpose, Uncategorized

The Alphabet Game

Our favorite game on road trips is the alphabet game.  You can pass hours and hours playing.  The rules are simple: the first person to spot all 26 letters of the alphabet, in order, on signs or buildings or anything really outside of your own car, wins.  The games plays out in almost the same way every time.  You fly along from A to E and then pause for a few minutes on F.  You jump back in at G until you get stuck at J.  Q is the worst.  You cross your fingers and hope for a Dairy Queen or an Antique Shoppe.  You hit a bit of a snag at X, and the game almost always comes down to who spots the Pizza Hut first.

Some letters just aren’t used very often.

That doesn’t make them less important.

This week a friend asked me which letter of the alphabet is used the most.  It’s E.  Which is used the least?  Depending on the source, it varies between Q, Z, X, and J.  Does that make them less important?  Of course not.  One could argue it makes them more important.

We don’t have to use something often for it to have great value…emergency brakes, fire extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors.  We hope we don’t have to use them often, but they are essential for our well being.

I think the same is true in life.

Many times the people who say the most, who are seen the most, are the ones who get the most attention.

It’s football season.  I’ve been watching my share of high school and college games.  I am fascinated by the kickers.  Not a lot of glamour in that role.  Not a lot of time on the field.  But how many games have we already seen this year that were decided in the final seconds by a field goal?  The kicker is an essential role on any team.  Just because we do not call on player as often does not make then any less valuable.

Are you investing enough time in your special teams?

A game can be won or lost in a single play.  Every person, every position matters.  The last letter of the alphabet is as valuable as the first.

Every person on the team, in the cast, on the staff, in the community, plays a vital role.  At times you may be called on to take the lead.  You may be the person on the stage, the one who is used the most.  Other times you will play a supporting role.  You will be seen less.  At those times, your work is no less important.

Good leaders know this.  Good coaches, good administrators, good teachers know this.  The best leaders work to build relationships and develop skills in everyone on their team.  And the best team members do their best work at all times, not just when they are the star.  This week, whether you feel like the E or you feel like the Z, do your best to do your best!

heathercphipps Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

The Happiest Place on Earth…on Purpose

Have you ever noticed that when you start thinking (or writing) about something that you begin to see examples of it everywhere.  It’s like buying a new car and suddenly seeing it at every intersection.

It’s been that way for me all summer.  I have been working on myself, and I have been reflecting and thinking (and writing) about my purpose.  Last week my family took a purposeful break from the world and spent six days in the Happiest Place on Earth.  And it was just that!  Disney World does not disappoint.

We were surrounded by people and organizations clear in their purpose.  Our flights out were enjoyable.  I have always been impressed by the intentionality with which Southwest Airlines makes flights fun.  They know their purpose, and they seem genuinely happy to be making us happy during our travel.

And everyone knows that Disney tends to even the smallest detail in order to make it the Happiest Place on Earth.  They know their purpose, and each and every person in the organization is focused on making it a reality.  From the shuttle driver, to the women handing out buttons and badges at the bus stops, to the characters who never stop entertaining, it is magic, purposeful magic.

There is power in knowing your purpose.  It guides your steps and motivates your work.  We need purpose in our profession, and we need purpose in our personal lives.  This has been my journey this summer, to reflect on the many purposes I see for myself.

The purpose of our vacation was to disconnect from the world and to reconnect with each other.  And let’s face it, our purpose was to have fun.  Man did we have fun!

heathercphipps Purpose, Uncategorized

Our Best Selves

You are going to be great at something; you just don’t know what it is yet. We should be saying that every day to the young people in our lives. We should be saying that every day to the adults in our lives. We should be saying that to ourselves every day until we do know what it is. We are all meant to be great.

Have you found your purpose, your reason for being? Are you doing all you can every single day to bring that purpose to life?

Finding purpose is the key to a fulfilling life. I have been blessed to find mine. I have been blessed by powerful mentors and coaches who have helped me find my purpose and more importantly to create a plan to make that purpose, that passion, a reality.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Antoine de Saint-Expery

I have a friend who challenged me to take my writing to the next level. He helped me define specific, tangible, measurable, and realistic action steps in order to achieve my goal. He reaffirmed my purpose, and he guided my thinking around the steps to make my purpose come to life. And I, in turn, helped him do the same. He is almost done with a fantastic 300 page book. I like to think I had a small piece in pushing him to make that a reality.

I have another friend who encouraged me to pursue educational administration and to take the first step and the next step and the next step in becoming the leader I am today. He still walks side-by-side with me to push me, to challenge me, to support me, and to see to it that I get a little better each day. We all need those coaches.

Working in education is a gift. Every day I get to help create safe, caring, supportive environments where children can learn. Every day I get to take actionable steps to make the world a little better for the students in our care. Every day. It is a blessing I do not take for granted.

I have another friend who has helped me redefine my purpose outside of my profession. And now through the blog I hope that I have been able to extend my reach. I have enjoyed the comments, the messages, the conversations with people about the ideas I have put out into the world. It has given me a larger purpose, and I am enjoying the journey.

I want each of you to pause this week and to reflect on your purpose and the steps you are or are not taking to live that purpose. Life is short my friends. We owe it to the world to live the best version of ourselves.

heathercphipps Purpose, Uncategorized

Purpose

I have learned so much about myself in the last two and a half years. This blogging adventure has taken me places I never dreamed I would go. I cannot begin to tell you how many people ask me where I find the time to blog. To be honest, at this point, I cannot imagine my life without it. When I write, time stands still.

It is possible in life to be so absorbed in an activity, so completely filled with energy, that you lose all track of time and simply exist in the moment. No fear, no anxiety, no jealousy. Just purpose. In psychology that state is called flow, and it is a key element in the science of happiness.

In his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (1990), Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains that happiness is not a fixed state. We can LEARN happiness as we discover the activities that provide us flow.

Have you found yours?

For me writing is one of them. I have learned through this process that I am a happier person when I am sharing my thoughts. I can lose hours just sitting at the keyboard putting thought to paper. I’ve learned through this blog that for me it is less about the actual task of writing and more about the ideas that I could spark in another person. Life is a powerful teacher, and sharing thing I’ve learned feeds my soul. It has become an important purpose in my life.

What is your purpose? Why were you put on this earth? Do you know yet?

“Every one of us has a WHY, a deep-seated purpose, cause or belief that is the source of our passion and inspiration. You may not yet know what yours is or how to express it in words. But we guarantee, you have one.” Simon Sinek

Life is full of so many things, moments, events, experiences. But life should be about more than that. Our life should be about our purpose. Have you taken the time to discover yours?

This can be a loaded question. As a mother, of course my children are the most important thing in my life. How could my answer be anything else? I am an educator. Of course education is the most important thing in my life. I am a human being. Of course human rights are the most important thing in my life. How could anything compare to all of that?

But it is possible to be a mother and an educator and champion of human rights and still find purpose in something else. Purpose can be found in many places. Are you feeding your purpose through your profession right now, or are you just going to work? Are you finding your purpose in things outside of work, or are you just going through life completing tasks. The truth is that many people have not found their purpose, and even more frightening is the fact that many people are not even looking for it.

Purpose is a tricky thing, but it goes hand-in-hand with happiness. It is worth examining. Your purpose cannot be too big or too small. It is YOUR purpose. You can change the world by doing great acts or by doing small acts with great purpose.

What is your purpose? Don’t we owe it to this life to find out?