heathercphipps Education, Gratitude, Happiness, Leadership, Positivity, Uncategorized

My Bridge

I was listening to a song on my way into work today (Everything by Michael Bublé if you’re wondering), and it got me thinking. So often songs follow a familiar pattern. Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, final verse or chorus. It seems to me that life is also that way.

Next week I’m celebrating my retirement with family and friends. My last day isn’t actually until the end of July, but in schools we like to do these things before everyone scatters for the summer. It is emotional at times. I’ve been blessed with a thirty-three year career doing what I absolutely love. I’m excited to celebrate that, and if I’m being honest, I’m a little sad to see the end coming.

But I was reminded this morning that this is my bridge.

I spent thirteen years as a middle school English teacher. Man, those are some of my favorite memories. I was young and full of energy. I had my own children during that time. Mother of littles, wife, teacher, friend. It’s a busy time, and it’s a joyful time. It was my first verse.

I transitioned to building administration and had nine years serving the students, staff and families in our schools. I learned more things than I knew there were to learn. Justin and I were parenting teens during this time, an adventure of its own. Dance and show choir and homecomings and AP classes. You don’t know busy until you hit those years, but oh my how wonderful it is to watch your children become who they are going to be. It was my second verse.

Transitioning to district level leadership was a whole new adventure. Shifting focus from one school to thirty-five schools. I gained an understanding of processes and perspective and how to navigate the uniqueness of each school with the need to be a cohesive system. My children became adults, almost overnight it seemed. One got married and gave us a son-in-law. People don’t talk enough about the pure joy that comes with knowing your children as fully formed humans. Third verse.

And now I am living my bridge. I forgot until this morning that the bridge is almost always my favorite part of the song. There is often a key change that wakes you up and reminds you that just when you thought you knew what it was all about, things change. For a second you miss the familiar and comfortable verses, but then you recognize that this new key and these new rhythms are amazing. You find yourself singing along in a whole new way. That’s the beauty of a bridge. It leads you to a new verse that you may never have imagined.

What will my new verse be? I’m not sure yet. I do know that for the next couple years I am going to be a full-time Mimi helping Umpa take care of these precious triplet grandbabies that we have. (Bentley would disapprove of my use of the term babies. “I am a kiddo.”)

After that? Anything is possible.

And what about the chorus? …that’s a blog for another day.

heathercphipps Happiness, Uncategorized

Managing Expectations

“Every year I make a list of all the ways I would describe my child that year. Then when they are grown up they can see how they changed over the years.”

That’s a great idea. I should do that for the triplets.

“I write down things my child says that are funny or important or particularly good on a little slip of paper and fold them and put them in a jar. Then they’ll have those as adults.”

That’s a great idea. I should do that for the triplets.

“I use the 1SE app to record 1 second of my child’s life everyday, so at the end of the year I have a full year of moments from their year.”

That’s a great idea. I am doing that for the triplets.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of the things I could be doing for my grandkids, hundreds of ideas on social media or on television or in conversations with friends. And I’m only their Mimi and not their Mama. The pressure for parents to do more and be better for their children is enormous. It’s hard to pause long enough to say, “I’m doing okay. Likely better than okay. Likely spectacularly.”

I think we feel this pressure in so many areas of our lives. We have high expectations for ourselves, and we want to do a good job. At everything we do. Always.

How exhausting!

I guess I just wanted to say that managing expectations for ourselves is hard, but it is a worthy endeavor. Take a minute to sit on the floor, snuggle your cat (or your dog or your child or your cookbook, whatever brings you joy), and manage your expectations for the next week.

heathercphipps Balance, Education, Gratitude, Happiness, Uncategorized

The Wrong Room

I’ve long been a fan of the expression (credited to many going all the way back to Confucius) that if you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. (I also like the one that says the smartest person in the room is the room.)

Today I was reminded that this applies to almost anything. Smart. Funny. Creative. Interesting.

I saw an advertisement in my social media feed that said, “become the most interesting woman in the room.” It was an ad for one of the many apps that reduce books to fifteen minutes or ten key nuggets of wisdom.

Two thoughts.

The first is that if I am ever the most interesting woman in the room, I am most certainly in the wrong room. How incredibly boring would that be? I am lucky enough to spend my life with women who are smart and funny and creative and kind. They are wise and witty. They are mothers and teachers and friends and daughters. They are powerful, and they are humble.

And they are way more interesting than I am. That’s why I love to be in the room with them.

The second thought I had when I saw the ad was that we may have become too busy as a society if we need apps that reduce thoughtful books to a few nuggets we can knock out on a treadmill.

No judgement if these are helpful tools for any of you. I just know that SparkNotes might get you through a test over To Kill a Mockingbird, but it will never move you to tears.

Books are meant to be savored.

Whether it’s a fiction book meant to entertain you or a self help book meant to help you grow, snippets will never provide the breadth of what the author was trying to convey.

We get ourselves in trouble when we take a sentence out of context or reference only a piece of the whole. Use the apps if they work for you, but never stop reaching for the full meaning of things.

heathercphipps Family, Gratitude, Kindness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

7305 Extra Days

Today is the 20th anniversary of a day that didn’t change my life…but could’ve.

I was a teacher, and it was the last day of spring break.  Kelsey had just turned nine, and Hunter was almost seven.  The girls and I decided we’d spend our last vacation day going to the mall to Build a Bear.  I can’t honestly remember what animals they made.  Hunter would know.  She remembers all of it.

As we were checking out, I had a sudden and painful feeling in my throat.  I felt dizzy and nauseous.  The girl checking us out offered me a mint.  In hindsight her gesture of kindness has provided us plenty of laughs.  “Like a mint was going to save your life.”  How could she have known?

I have a connective tissue disorder called Marfan Syndrome.  It causes parts of my body to weaken over time, the most significant of which is my aorta.  And on that day I was having something called an aortic dissection.  There was a tear between the layers of my aorta, but I did not know it at the time.

We paid, left Build a Bear, and headed to the food court where thankfully a friend of mine was eating.  We call her my Guardian Angel.  I knew something was wrong, but I was insistent that this could not possibly be an aortic dissection.  She took over in that moment and drove my children and me to the hospital.

The story gets long and complicated from there. I’ve always believed I would write it all at some point. I’m less sure of that now. Suffice it to say that several hours later I finally had a CT Scan, was diagnosed, and was taken in to surgery.  The surgery lasted five hours, but the recovery took months.  Those five hours were so much harder for my family and friends than they were for me.  I honestly only know the details of the next few days from the things people have told me.

So many people.  A friend prayed over me before I went in to surgery. Friends and family spent time in the waiting room and countless hours sitting with me over the next days, weeks, and months.  People cleaned our house and brought us food.  One friend who lives out of town sent me a card and a package of some kind every day, every single day, for weeks.  My students wrote letters, and one even recorded her piano music to soothe me.  People are good beyond measure.

I also learned to be patient.  I dissected a week before my Master’s Degree comps and a week before my first interview for an administrative job. Obviously neither of those thing happened then.  But they did happen.  Eventually.  I have learned that for me things work out eventually, just not always in the way I envisioned or on the timeline I chose.

I also tell people that the most powerful lesson for me was to enjoy every day.  Every single day is a gift. We say that, and it is true.  Twenty years ago today I almost died, but I didn’t.  I have had 7305 extra days to learn and love and laugh.  I have had 7305 extra days to make mistakes, to fall down, and to get back up.

I have had 20 extra years to love my children and my husband and to meet my son-in-law and his precious, precious triplets.

Last week Bentley asked me about my scar. Maybe someday I’ll tell her the story.

For my birthday this year, I asked my family to go with me back to Build a Bear. It had, after all, been 20 years. It was a blast. And cathartic. And more emotional than my children and I could explain to the poor girl stitching Brooks’s dinosaur.

I guess I just want to say thank you to all of you who made that day, and the 7305 days that followed, a blessing.

heathercphipps Balance, Gratitude, Grief, Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

Protect Your Joy

Life is short and unpredictable. As I watch my perfect little grandbabies grow up so much faster than any of us want, I am reminded of this. When I watch the news, I am reminded of this. In the ups and downs of any given day, week, season, I am reminded of this.

I had the chance to spend a little time with a phenomenal woman this week who reminded me of it as well. She shared a story from her past that taught her, at much too young an age, that life is short and unpredictable. But instead of choosing to live a life full of fear and apprehension and anger as a result, she chose to live a life full of joy. The lesson she chose to take from her earliest experience with loss was that because we don’t know what any moment will bring, we should learn to find as much joy as we can. And then protect it.

Protect your joy!

What a life lesson for us all. Find our joy. Then protect it with everything we have.

What does that look like? How do we do that?

Life is full of decisions. We have to decide if we want to accept that invitation to a social gathering or decline in order to spend the night at home. We have to decide if we want to take a class or apply for a new job or move to a new city. Sometimes the decision is as small as whether or not ask a friend to lunch; sometimes the decision is as big as whether or not to end a long-term relationship. There are so many lenses through which we can look at things when making decisions. I like this new one. What will protect my joy?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not proposing we abandon logic and reason, compassion for others, care and service to our fellow travelers on this planet. There is always a lot to consider when making decisions of importance. But I’m adding this new thing to my thinking. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to find my joy. It’s worth protecting.

heathercphipps Back to School, Education, Teachers, Uncategorized

Seasons

Typically it is about this time of year when I wax poetic about the changing of the seasons. Fall is my favorite time of the year. But this isn’t about marching band or high school football or the changing of the leaves. There is plenty of time for that. This is about the seasons of life.

In his back-to-school welcome to staff, our superintendent shared a quote.

“Life is a series of seasons, and what works in one season may not work in the next.  What season are you in right now?  What does this season require?”  James Clear

It got me thinking about the seasons of my career. I’m starting year 32 in education.

In the 90s, I was a new teacher. I really had no idea what I was doing. (I have often thought that I need to reach out to those students who had me in my first few years and apologize.) I remember being surprised when I asked students to turn in their assignment and some did not have it done. What? Is that a thing? (Apparently I had forgotten any of the times I handed my own work in late.) I remember the first student who asked me if he could leave class because he “just needed to.” I told him no, and he proceeded to blurt out a profanity. He taught me that our students will often tell us what they need, if we will listen. And if we don’t, they will find a way to get it anyway.

And I remember Barb Lacey taking me under her wing and helping me learn the really important things. Engaging lessons, yes. Formative assessment, yes. But really she taught me that our relationships with students and with each other are what matter the most.

Somehow new teachers today seem so much more ready than I was.

In the early 2000s, I was a veteran teacher and an aspiring administrator. Just when I felt like I had my footing in the teaching realm, I was right back at the beginning in administration. I remember the day in my first year as an AP when I stood in our principal’s office and cried. He had told me before I took the job that a perk of administration was that I could go to the bathroom anytime I needed to. He lied, and I told him so. There was never time for a break.

I remember Jim Sutfin and Beth Fink and Marshall Smith helping me learn the ins and outs of this new world. Engaging professional learning, yes. Data-driven decision making, yes. But really they taught me that our relationships with students and with each other are what matter the most.

Now I guess I am a veteran administrator. And while I continue to learn from old and new mentors, it’s my turn to share what I know with others. I know a thing or two about good instruction, about systems leadership, about facilitating change. (I even know a thing or two about leading through a global pandemic now.)

But what I know most is what John Schwartz reminded us of at our kick off. Our relationships with students and with each other are what matter the most.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Positivity, Traditions, Uncategorized

End of an Era

I’m sad about something silly. I fully acknowledge it’s silly, but I am genuinely melancholy about it.

We started our vacation with our usual bonus stop in Lincoln to get DaVincis. It’s been one of my favorite places since 1988 when I first tried their hot roast beef sandwich and cheese bread. If you know, you know.

I went to Wesleyan for my undergrad, and I didn’t have a car until senior year. You could really only get two things delivered to Wesleyan in the late 80s and early 90s. (Yes, I am dating myself.)

DaVincis. And Dominoes.

I have never been a fan of what we not-so-affectionately referred to as death disks, so DaVincis got my business. From freshman and sophomore years in Johnson Hall through junior year in the apartment we shared to senior year when we lived on the top floor of the scary house, it was a constant.

I love DaVincis hot roast beef sandwiches.

When we were first married, Justin and I would drive back down to Lincoln on weekends to get them. For a brief, shining moment, there was one at 132nd and Dodge in Omaha. It was always packed. It took forever to get through to them to place a take-out order. But it closed almost as soon as it opened.

Over the years, when we would head west for any reason, we’d stop in Lincoln to eat there. During Covid, we’d drive down for carry out and stop at the park near campus to eat. We picked up sandwiches when we met my parents outside Old Main for a Covid-friendly, outdoor play on the green.

It’s been part of my life for 35 years.

This time when we made it a point to stop by for lunch on our way out of town, I noticed something missing from the menu. You guessed it. No more roast beef sandwiches.

What?!?!

I know it’s just a sandwich, mind you the best hot roast beef sandwich on the planet. I know it’s silly to be genuinely sad about it being gone. But I am.

I also know that mostly I’m sad that I won’t bite into it and remember. Remember freshman year when I would hide out in the garden level lounge until Pam and Missy would rescue me and let me crash in their room. Remember Picture Man and a crazy photo shoot at a hotel. Remember dressing up and taking pictures with Santa at the mall. Remember stealing Easy Cheese from the guys who lived above us. Remember when we realized that the house we were renting only had a bathtub and not a shower.

Those were good times. And somehow as long as I could drive to Lincoln and enjoy a little DaVincis, it still felt like yesterday.

So I’m going to let myself be sad that my favorite sandwich is no more. And I’m going to be grateful for all of those relationships that are still so dear to me.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

We Don’t Always Know

I just finished watching the most recent episode of this season’s Ted Lasso. Say what you will about Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso is the real deal. Every episode brings me almost to tears and affirms for me the goodness of people. The end of this one, filled with grace and forgiveness, was especially heart-warming. The episode though left me wondering something, so I did a quick IMDB search. Yep, as I suspected, next week’s episode is the last of the season.

Worse, I learned upon further research, it’s the last of the series.

No sooner did I figure out that Ted Lasso is coming to an end than my husband tells me that this weekend’s episode of Succession is the last one of the… you guessed it… series.

What is happening?

I want to know when I am starting the final season of a show. I want to know that I should savor every moment of each episode. I want to slow down and enjoy the moments, the characters I’ve grown to care about. The sudden jolt shook me. Not real world shook me. I get it’s just television. But I was genuinely sad.

We should know when the end is coming, so we can prepare. There should be time to get our mind around what comes next. We should recognize the need to fully appreciate the experience.

But we don’t always know.

All too often significant things change in an instant. The unexpected can rock our world with absolutely no warning. Even when things happen slowly, the end of elementary school comes to mind, the moment often feels sudden. There’s a lesson in the end of Ted Lasso, and it isn’t even a subtle one.

We should always slow down and savor the moment. We should always pause to notice the sunset over the baseball field on a spring night or the clouds that roll in before a thunderstorm. We should always take the call even though we are busy.

Ultimately it is people who make a life. Our family, our friends, the woman at McDonalds who knows I like oatmeal in the morning. We should relish the time we have with our people.

Because we don’t always know.

heathercphipps Autumn, Fall, Halloween, Happiness, Optimism, Uncategorized

October Again

October has returned, and unlike my usual post about things feeling hard this time of year, it feels lighter. There is beautiful weather, and there are trips to the pumpkin patch and football and concerts and plays. There are vanilla-flavored candles and fun decorations on the mantle. I love October!

But I know October can also be hard. We’ve moved past the beginning of the year honeymoon phase. Students and teachers are ready for a break. But first there is the end of the quarter and conferences and professional leaning and report cards.

This can be a challenging time.

Something I have learned through the years though is that spending too much time focused on the negative serves no value.

October has returned, and I am thrilled.

This has always been my favorite time of the year.

Halloween is big in my family. What’s not to love? Costumes and candy and pumpkin-spiced everything. This year we are taking our daughter to Disneyland to experience Halloween Disney style! We are picking out costumes for the triplets. I’ve got pumpkins in the entryway and gourds at work. It’s beginning to look a lot like Halloween.

You can feel a change in the weather. The leaves are on the cusp of turning. It is finally sweatshirt weather. There is comfort in thick socks and a soft sweater. There is comfort in wrapping up on the couch in a blanket reading a book. I spent hours doing that this weekend.

In the sweltering heat of July and in the frigid cold of January, I sometimes wonder why we live here. October reminds me! Autumn in the Midwest is spectacular. Nebraska is at her best when the rustic colors fill the trees and the gentle rain coats the streets. (It will rain again someday, right?) This is my favorite time of the year, and I know I am not alone.

I encourage you to pause in the midst of the crazy this week and savor the season. It goes by much too fast.

Focus less on the negative and more on the positive.

When someone says, “How are you?”  Answer, “Fantastic!”

Positivity is contagious.  Spread it around.

October has returned, and I am thrilled.

heathercphipps Back to School, Community, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

You Love Your Students

I had the opportunity to listen to some of our students this week talk about what makes our school district special. Without exception, they all said the same thing. You.

They talked about their teachers making them feel like school was more than just school. They talked about it being a community. They talked about it being a family. They talked about the connections they have with the adults in the building.

You show up. You go to their games. You go to their performances. You read their writing. They said it over and over again.

You engage with them. You ask how their lives are going. You ask about their family. You notice things about their friends. You engage with them on a personal level. They notice.

You push them. You encourage them to be more than they thought they could be. You challenge them to learn more, try more, do more than they thought they could. They appreciate that.

You care. Beyond whether or not they learn the facts, the information. You care about them as people. And they know it.

Our schools are a community. Together our district is a community. Our students said it beautifully. They recognize how much more than reading, writing, and math is happening in our buildings. And they appreciate it. They know what makes this district special. You.

Thank you!

heathercphipps Activities and Athletics, Back to School, Community, Uncategorized

Community (week two)

It happened again. Every year, like clockwork. You’d think I’d be over it by now, but I’m not.

Friday night was our first high school football game. Better, it was Millard verses Millard, always a great night. It might have been the biggest crowd I’ve seen in the stadium. Red out on one side- neon on the other. Fabulous band. Fabulous dance team. Fabulous football on the field.

And our community.

There were students broadcasting the game. There were students cheering. There were coaches and sponsors and people from our tech team supporting everything our students were doing.

And our community.

There is something about this gathering on Q Street under the lights that gets me every time. In the middle of the third largest school district in the state, we suddenly feel like a small town again.

Last night I got to see it all through new eyes. We have a new superintendent, and it was fun to watch him be part of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I know we are not unique. I know that in hundreds of schools across our state and thousands across the county the same thing happened Friday night. Individual communities coming together as one, in a stadium, connected.

In a time when it can feel like we are more divided than united, it felt good. I took a moment on the field to just pause and take it all in.

As we kick off this new school year, let’s look for those moments. Let’s pause and look around and notice all the good in the world. Adults who give of their time to support students and students who risk and take on challenges and push themselves outside of their comfort zone to write and speak and sing and compete and perform.

And the community of friends and parents and grandparents and neighbors and retired teachers and total strangers who show up to support them.

Our community.

heathercphipps Back to School, Community, Education, Positivity, Team, Uncategorized

Community

I spent Saturday morning with an amazing community. Actually, I spent it with a community of communities. We had the annual fun run for our mentoring program, and our staff showed up in huge numbers. School sprit was on full display.

I’ve written before about the power of showing up. For your family. For your friends. For your community.

What struck me yesterday was the shared community of people that has been created, has grown, exists (I can’t put my finger on the right verb) within each school and district office. And then how each of those comes together to form the larger community of our district.

People are our greatest resource is one of our district’s belief statements. Nothing truer was ever said. People showed up to support a great cause, but more, they showed up to be part of their community.

As leaders, our job is to help foster community. Each of us plays a role in building the culture and climate of our school or office.

Together we are stronger, smarter, better. We need each other. If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s how much we need each other.

It was powerful to see teams of people from each of our schools come together to compete, yes, but also to show that they are committed to their students, their families, their community.

Our community.

This week pay attention to the many different communities in your life. Your family and friends, your neighborhood, your school or workplace, your place of worship. How are you showing up for them?

heathercphipps Back to School, Education, Leadership, Perseverence, Uncategorized

Be Ironman

In The Martian, the Oscar nominated film based on a book by Andy Weir, astronaut Mark Watney is stranded alone on Mars for almost 18 months. He endures hardships and hunger the likes of which we could only imagine.

When his crew mounts a rescue mission, he launches himself off planet in an attempt to re-connect with them. When the first attempt fails, and they miss catching him, he is faced with a choice.

In order to get enough propulsion to be saved, he has to cut a hole in his space suit. His suit that is the only thing standing between him and the perils of space. It’s a risk, a life-threatening risk.

As he slices open his glove, he muses that he is going to fly like Ironman.

As we launch into a new school year, I’ve been reminded how many times we ask our students to take risks. We ask them as freshman to sign up for an AP course. We ask them as first graders to try to read a passage out loud. We ask them as 7th graders to step on to a stage and try out for a play.

And we promise to catch them.

I’ve been watching carefully as my one year old grandchildren (triplets in case you didn’t know) take risk after risk as they learn to walk and talk and tackle this world.

Fearless.

As adults, it can be just as hard to take risks. Retiring from a lifelong career and stepping into something new is a challenge. Taking on a new leadership role is daunting. Picking up a new hobby, forging new relationships, trying something new is a risk.

But with risk comes reward.

Playing it safe might be easier, but as we kick off a new year, consider what you could gain by taking a risk.

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to try?

Is there a place you want to visit? A person you want to get to know? Something you want to learn?

Take to risk. Punch the hole in your space suit.

Be Ironman.

heathercphipps Back to School, Education, Gratitude, Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

A Welcome Lightness

It’s back to school time, with the exception of Halloween, my favorite time of the year. Teachers are moving back into their classrooms. Students are getting their schedules and learning how to open their lockers (no small feat). Administrators are unveiling fun new themes for the year meant to inspire. We are gathering together to meet new people and reconnect with ones we haven’t seen for awhile. There is a buzz in the air that cannot be replicated any other time in a school year.

And this year, a lightness.

The past three years have been heavy. There have been plenty of amazing and joyful and happy times, but there has also been an undercurrent of heaviness. We have all lived through the unprecedented. We have endured things both physically and emotionally that we could not previously have imagined. I’m not saying things are back to normal. I’m not saying we don’t still have plenty of things that are heavy. But this week I felt a lightness.

I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what felt different. We’ve had a back to school week for all 30 years of my career in education. There has always been a kick-off of some kind. There have always been students practicing on the fields and marching in the band. Teachers have always been hanging bulletin boards and setting up libraries and making lesson plans. But this week felt different.

This week felt like stepping out of something heavy and into something light. Someone who has always been so supportive of this journey to blog and tell my stories asked me when I would start publishing again. It was the push I needed, the gentle nudge to return to the lightness. I’m grateful for his words.

I know that many of you may still be in the midst of hard things. I know that there are many hard things to come. But my wish for you as we start this year is to seek out the lightness.

It feels amazing!

heathercphipps Back to School, Positivity, Uncategorized

Make Your Kids Feel Special

Often the first time students and families get to see the school each year is at Open House or Fall Orientation.  For some, this is the third or fourth or fifth time they’ve been to back-to-school events in a building.  For others, it is their first time.  This is our chance to set the tone for the year, to make families feel welcome and to make students feel special.  

And boy did our schools get that job done.  Teachers handed out Blow Pops that said, “thanks for popping in.”  They had remarkable door decorations.  There were balloons and music and mascots.  It was energizing.

Then on Wednesday we had what is, for me, the most exciting day of the year, the first day of school.  One of the things I like most about working in education is that we get a fresh start every year.  The quote below is one of my favorites.  It is an excellent reminder for me some nights. 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emmerson

I think it is also important in education.  Finish each year and be done with it.  You did what you could.  The first day of school is a new day, a new start.  We shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with our old nonsense.  That’s what I want for our students too, a new year, and I want more than anything for them to feel special.

And boy did our schools and our families get that done too.  

Beadle Middle School clapped students in as they arrived for the first day.  Sandoz laid out a literal red carpet.  At Hitchcock the students worked together to develop the rules and expectations for the year.  Disney had a community partner who provided school supplies for their students.  Every single student has what they need for the year.  At Central Middle School a teacher was playing piano and entertaining the students outside as they arrived.  Our administrators dressed in matching school gear.  There were giant yard signs where parents could snap creative first day pictures.  

At the end of the day, when I logged on to social media, I was showered with post after post of those first day of pictures.  Collages of the first day of kindergarten compared to the first day of senior year.  Shots of moms and dads ready for their first day of teaching posing with their children ready for their first day of learning.  You flooded my feeds with pictures of your own children and pictures of your school children being loved and being nurtured and being made to feel special.

And that is what the first week of school is all about!

 

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Kindness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

Shine a Light on Others

It’s been a lifechanging summer for me, no exaggeration. You all know this. My daughter had triplets, my first grandchildren. I underestimated the impact this would have on my life and the joy it would bring me. I mean I knew it would be amazing. But until I saw them, held them, I didn’t really KNOW.

I want so much for them. I want them to be healthy, of course, but I want as much for them to be happy. I want them to spend their life in a world that is good and loving and kind.

I want that for you too. And for me.

I have been reflecting this summer on what I want this blog to be. As hard as it is for me to believe, it has been almost 7 years since I started this. When I first launched it, I called it Educator Insights. It was a way for me to share my ideas and my thoughts as an educator.

But I have changed. The world has changed.

I’m not really sure if that’s true or not, but it feels that way at times. The last few years have been heavy. We all know the reasons. It feels all too often that media (traditional, alternative, and social) is feeding a culture of negativity instead of fostering positive discourse and uplifting stories.

I have always believed that Steve Hartman has the greatest job in the world. I still do. He has spent his career telling other people’s stories. Stories of kindness and grace, of love and compassion. I don’t know if it has helped him have a happier life, but I know his stories have helped me have a happier life.

I am starting my 30th year in education. I have had the chance to teach and to learn, to grow and to grow others, to lead and to be led. This summer has been a time of renewal, and I’ve been pondering what I want the next 30 years to be.

And I think I have it figured out.

I want to tell your stories. I want to share the countless examples of selflessness and courage and kindness that I see everyday. I want my voice and this blog to be a place where our faith in humanity is affirmed and uplifted.

The name of the blog has changed. The intent of the blog has changed. I’ve spent the summer watching you all do amazing things, big and small. Next week I start sharing them.

* photo behind the scenes at Joey Winn Photography

 

heathercphipps Community, Gratitude, Happiness, Uncategorized

Be That Kind of Person

Two things happened to me in the last week that boosted my mood almost as much as the sunny weather.

At the end of a long day, after a two hour Zoom meeting, I got an email from a friend. “Your hair looked gorgeous today.”

Day made.

Later that week, I was walking by a woman, a total stranger, eating out on a restaurant patio. As I passed, she said, “That shirt looks beautiful on you.”

Day made.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be known as someone who is smart and compassionate, capable and kind. But there is something so great about a simple, genuine compliment.

When someone gets their hair done, tell them you like it.

When someone wears a new outfit, tell them they look nice.

I’m not suggesting insincerity. I am suggesting that when we take a moment to make someone else feel seen, valued, appreciated, beautiful, it can make their day.

Be that kind of person!

 

heathercphipps Marfan Syndrome, Trauma, Uncategorized

What My Brachial Artery Taught Me


Seventeen years ago this week I almost died. I’ve written about it in bits and pieces over the years, and I’m sure I’ll continue to do so. It was a defining moment in my life.

Because of a genetic disorder, the vessels in my body are weak and prone to tears. At times the tears are minor and easily fixed, in my legs, in my nasal cavity. At times they are more significant, in my brain, in my heart.

An aortic dissection, a tear in the inner lining of the largest vessel in our body, causes significant internal bleeding and needs immediate and significant intervention to prevent death.

That’s what happened 17 years ago this week. I told that story a few years ago, but today the story on my mind is what happened 3 months later.

I noticed on a Saturday that my arm was cold to the touch. Weird. Sunday was the same. By Monday a friend whose brother-in-law is a doctor told me that I needed to get it checked out. Fine. I’m stubborn, but I’d learned the hard way to check it out when something is off.

It turned out that I had a new dissection. This one was in my brachial artery. I had no blood flow to my arm, no pulse could be found. I ended up in the hospital for more days for this far less serious condition that for the open heart surgery months earlier.

My friend saved my arm.

I know now that the tear in my brachial dissection was a secondary trauma. The vessels in my body were impacted by what happened in my aorta.

It’s all connected. Physical trauma has an impact beyond the original crisis.

So does emotional trauma.

For the last year, we have all been experiencing a trauma. Some people have suffered physically. Some people have suffered financially. Everyone has suffered emotionally.

We can see a light ahead. Vaccinations are rolling out. We are learning how to safely navigate the world.

But there will be secondary trauma. 

As we emerge from the emergency response to the pandemic, we will have to address the long-term impacts. Be it learning loss (or unfinished learning or learning gaps or whatever we choose to label it) or bankruptcies or the very real health issues that are lingering for many, there will be secondary trauma. 

My brachial taught me this.

It also taught me that it can be overcome. It taught me not to spend too much time admiring the trauma. Assess the reality of the situation and get to work addressing it. 

Make a plan.

Get help.

Be honest and realistic about what you need.

Recovery is never really over. We learn how to manage and more importantly how to thrive in spite of (and sometimes even because of) our experiences. They become part of who we are. It’s all connected.

My brachial artery taught me that.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Uncategorized

Anticipation

Spring is coming. The signs are everywhere. Ice covered lakes with patches of water beginning to peak through. Piles of snow next to grass turning green. You can feel it in the air.

One bird chirping outside my window in the morning has become several.

Yes, spring is coming.

There is such joy in anticipation, the idea of what could be. For me the weeks before a trip are almost as exciting as the trip itself.

But sometimes anticipation robs us of what we have in the here and now. Tomorrow may be warmer, but today is a gift and whatever it brings should be savored.

This is a fun time in the Midwest. We’ve reached that point where when it snows (because this is Nebraska people- it will snow again), it will melt sooner. One day of crisp, cool air will be replaced by a warm and sunny one.

Enjoy the inconsistency. Soon enough we will be consistently hot and wishing for a day like today.

There is beauty in the transition. If our focus lies solely on the anticipation of Spring, we might miss it.

In my family we are awaiting the birth of triplets. I’m not sure I’ve ever anticipated anything with such joy. Grandchildren! Three of them at once!

The anticipation is fun, but these moments right now, when it still just an idea and not a diaper-filled reality, are fun too. And I don’t want to miss a single moment while I’m still the “mom.”

So layer up my friends. When the sun comes out, take off that coat and put on those sunglasses. Just don’t pack the coat away quite yet. Anticipate what it is coming. But savor what is.

 

 

 

heathercphipps Halloween, Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

Valentine’s Day? Really Dr. Biden?

Perspective is everything.

I love February because I have had a deep respect for my birthday since a near-fatal health crisis in my thirties. A good friend whose birthday is also in February says it is his least favorite month because of the very weather conditions we experienced in the last week (and apparently again today).

Perspective.

I love Halloween. If you’ve ever read the blog you likely know this. I mean I love it. Not your ordinary carve a pumpkin and buy some candy appreciation. Full on joy for the weather and the sense of community and yes, the candy.

But this week I’ve been enjoying the pictures of the giant hearts that the First Lady had installed at the White House. President Biden said that Valentine’s Day is her favorite holiday.

Valentine’s Day? I have never cared a bit about Valentine’s Day. I mean I do enjoy a sour candy heart, and I have a friend who I used to work with who was always the first to buy the Brach’s original hearts every year. It brought her such joy.

But Valentine’s Day? It’s a Hallmark holiday, right?

But it’s also a reminder to pause and tell the people in your life that you love them. It’s not Halloween, but I can’t really think of a more important thing to do than to pause and tell the people in your life that you love them.

Perspective.

This week I was reminded that every holiday, every day, is a chance to find joy!  Our perspective shapes the way we view the world. Perspective is everything. 

 

 

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

Worry

There is nothing harder for a parent than when your child is hurt or struggling or worried. It doesn’t matter how old they are, six or sixteen, or almost 26 and about to be a parent herself.

My Beautiful Daughter,

I wish I knew what to say to calm your worries. I wish I could show you one, five, twenty years from now, so you would see how amazing your life will always be. I wish I knew how to fill you with peace about what will be for your growing family.

But life can be pretty overwhelming. Especially right now. I can’t pretend to know how it feels to be carrying three babies at once. I can barely stand the worry that comes with being a mom to two amazing grown women.

Worry has always been part of my life. I am a worrier. Likely I passed some of that (okay maybe more than some of that) on to you and to your sister.

I’m sorry.

Now I wish I had the wisdom to tell you how to let go of that worry.

“Worry doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”

There is real truth in that. I have spent too much of my life worried. I have wasted too many days worried about would happen next.

Next has always turned out to be pretty great!

Try to remember what you were worried about a year ago. Did it happen? If it did, did you overcome it?

Beautiful girl, I struggle enough with my own worry to think I know the answer. But I want you to reflect on what you have already accomplished and overcome in your life. There is nothing you cannot do.

Preparation is helpful. Planning for what you can is helpful. Study and research (and lists!) are helpful.

Worrying is not.

Worry less. It’s solid advice for us all.

 

heathercphipps Family, Gratitude, Grief, Happiness, Perseverence, Positivity, Uncategorized

Patience


There is this moment in the Lincoln Marathon (or half in my case) when you round the corner and can see Memorial Stadium. This feeling of relief washes over you. You’re almost there!

And then you climb 10th Street for what seems like forever. The size of the stadium is deceiving. You think you’re almost done, but you still have to finish mile 10…and 11…and 12…and 13.

Patience.

I have never been a patient person. When I have a task, I want it done immediately. When I have a phone message, I want it returned right away. When I have an idea, I want it to come to fruition instantly.

Honestly, it has served me well over the course of my lifetime. My house is usually clean. My office is usually tidy. I am efficient and effective in my work.

But the older I get, the more the big things in life seem to take patience.

My daughter is having triplets. My first grandchild will be grandchildren! Three of them. It is almost too hard to imagine.

The gender reveal was this weekend. She had known since Thursday (longer for 2 of them), but I had to wait until last night. It was a challenge.

Patience.

If the last year has taught us anything, it is that we cannot always control how long things take. Right now the virus is in control, and we can only mitigate its impact and be patient as the vaccine rolls out. This weekend though, my parents got their first vaccine.  I can’t overstate the sense of relief I felt when my dad sent me the picture.  I have been waiting for that moment for almost a year. 

Now I want to hug them and go to dinner with them and sit next to them on a couch. 

Patience.

Babies. Pandemics. Grief. Recovery. The older I get, the more I understand that the big things take time.

I have never been a patient person, but I’m working on it.  

 



heathercphipps Positivity, Social Media, Technology, Uncategorized

Socials

I remember the first time I heard of Facebook. Katie, a former student, was graduating from high school, and she popped by Central to say hello. I think she was delivering an invitation to her graduation party. She told me about this site where the freshman at UNO could connect and start to meet each other. It was called The Facebook.

MySpace had appeared the year before, so I knew something about social media. The “kids” were all trying to convince their parents to let them have a MySpace…or they were secretly creating them without their parents knowing.

Then YouTube. Then Twitter. Then Instagram. Then Snapchat. Then TikTok.

We joke that once the parents get on board with a new social media platform, the younger people jump to the next one.

It’s true.

I work with children and young adults. I work on curriculum for digital literacy. I work (now more than ever) in a digital environment. Without our devices and our internet and our ability to work and learn and connect virtually, things would have ground to a halt last spring.

But we all wrestle with how much is too much. I have a friend who left Facebook because the environment had become so toxic. I have another friend who left all social media platforms for her own mental health.

But I also have a friend who has a virtual community of people who can share and appreciate each other’s photography. It is a genuine way for him to share his work with people around the world and for others to share their work with him.

I blog. Without Facebook and Twitter, almost no one would read it. I feel support and encouragement and kindness and love when people interact with me through the blog.

How much social media is right?  I can’t answer that for you.  I struggle enough to answer it for myself.

But if you have not seen The Social Dilemma on a Netflix, I highly recommend it. It is thought-provoking and will challenge how you interact with social media.

When my daughter searches for a new vacuum while connected to our WiFi and suddenly I have vacuum ads in my feeds, that’s not a coincidence.

When I step in to Scheels and a Dick’s Sporting Goods ad pops up, that’s not a coincidence.

But without TikTok, thousands and thousands of people would never have encouraged my daughter to share more stories about her pregnancy with triplets after she posted a funny story.

I guess I don’t have the answer except to say that we should all be mindful and reflective of our online time.

Do you need a break?

Is it lifting you up? Or is it making you angry or depressed?

Monitor and adjust!

And whatever you do, do not ever read the comments under articles posted online. Just don’t do it!

heathercphipps Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

Intention


I shared a Maya Angelou quote this week that talked about thriving, and a friend asked me if that was my one word for the year. It would be a good one.

But I have been focusing more on the word intention this year.

In meditation setting an intention is about aligning your thoughts and attitude for the day. It is about deciding how you want to show up in the world. I love that description! It’s not a SMART goal. In fact, it can be hard to measure. But it can impact our lives all the same.

Right about now I know some of you (I bet I could even name you) are saying, “uh oh, Heather is about to get touchy-feely.” I promise I’m not suggesting you have to meditate (although I know from personal experience that if you did you would find a calm and a focus that is hard to get without it).

I am simply suggesting that dedicating some time each week or each day to setting our intention, how we want to show up in the world, is time worth spending.

There are many ways to use the term intention. In the Catholic Church, a mass or prayer may have an intention. Often we say “that wasn’t my intention” when we have offended someone.

I am most fascinated though by the medical definition of intention. The term is used to describe the process by which wounds heal. Primary intention involves an incision which is stitched. The healing is faster and leaves less scar tissue.

Secondary intention is what happens when the wound must heal from the inside out. It takes longer. It leaves more scarring.

But it heals.

Our physical bodies have the ability to recover from injury. So do our minds.

If we have intention.

This week take the time to stop and listen to what your mind is trying to tell you.

How do you want to show up in the world?

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

Mary Anne Radmacher

 

heathercphipps Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

Be a Light


It’s easy during difficult times to believe that the world is a dark place.   It’s easy during difficult times to believe the worst of humanity.  It’s easy during difficult times to believe that people are no longer good, maybe never were.

But that’s just not reality.

It’s been month after month of challenges, and it’s been a year of witnessing the worst in some people. But it has also been a year where we have seen the best in so many people.

Somehow I missed the release of Thomas Rhett’s song Be a Light in early 2020. It’s now at the top of my playlist, and I listen to it every day.

“Be a light” is very good advice. 

In a world full of hate, be a light.
When you do somebody wrong, make it right.
Don’t hide in the dark, you were born to shine.
In a world full of hate, be a light.

A friend described it to me as “be the good.”  He’s right.  What each one of us can do every single day is to choose to be the good, the light.  I especially like when Thomas Rhett says, “you were born to shine.”  We were most definitely born to shine.

But I want to take issue with the fundamental premise in Thomas Rhett’s song.  As much as I love it, as much as it inspires me every morning, he is wrong.

The world is not full of hate.

The world is full of love.

Look around. Be intentional this week to witness the people around you. Watch for the many, many people who are going about their lives with quiet goodness.

7.8 billion people in the world.

331 million people in the United States.

Almost 2 million people in Nebraska, most of whom are going about their lives with quiet goodness.

Can we do better?  Of course we can, and we shall.  But the world is full of love.  In a world full of love, be the light.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Optimism, Uncategorized

Take What the Day Has to Offer


We used to spend a fun weekend every year camping and playing at Adventureland. We’d drive out on a Friday night and be the first ones in line when the park opened Saturday morning.

Some years it would be in the blistering heat of July or August, and we’d spend the late afternoon cooling off in the pool. Some years it would be September, and the afternoon was for watching the Husker game.

It was always fun!

When you only have one day to spend in the park, you wake up hopeful for perfect weather. We were usually lucky in that regard, but one year it rained the entire day. It was incredibly warm, but it was incredibly wet.

That’s the day I first learned the expression, “take what the day has to offer.”

I woke up crabby, sure the day was ruined. I pouted on the first few rides as the drizzle fell and the bigger rides opened and closed. Finally a wise friend reminded me to “take what the day has to offer.”

And we did.

We rode Saw Mill Splash in the rain. We flipped over and over on The Monster just as torrential showers began to fall. We raced back to the campground, splashing through the puddles and laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

It was a great day!

I was reminded of the expression this week as the sun was shining, and the weather was warm.  I left work to find the most glorious sunset.

Two days later the snow fell and the children in the neighborhood were sledding and making snow forts and having snowball fights.

Take what the day has to offer.

It’s 2020. One day feels so much like the next, and some days feel like it will never end.

But it will.

And in the meantime, we have sunsets and snowball frights. We take what the day has to offer.

 

 

 

heathercphipps Happiness, Uncategorized

Micro Moments of Joy

I stole this idea from a professional development session I was part of this week.  Credit where credit is due. In the midst of one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in awhile, I needed the reminder that life is joyful.

If we look for the joy.

After an accident, I was given grace and kindness.

After I sent a gloomy text, my daughter and son-in-law brought me a pumpkin pie blizzard. He knows the way to my heart.

A good friend sent me flowers to cheer me up. My daughters sent me daisies. They are a vase full of joy.

As I sat on the floor in my living room making phone calls and sending texts about a loss, I was reminded over and over and over again how many amazing people care about me.

Those first 2 deliveries meant to cheer me up before we knew what was coming were just the first of many sent to let me know that people are there for me. So many flowers. They meant the world to me. Every single one of them.

I am surrounded by the most loving family anyone could ask for.

My friend who has Covid is making her bed. If she has to be isolated in her room, she said that at least she could do what she can to make it look nice. Joy! She is the one who is sick, and yet she keeps checking on me.

I won a game of chess. If you knew how I play chess, you would see this for the micro moment of joy it is.

I once wrote a blog after going to a visitation for a friend who lost her mother. Today that friend texted me, and I was reminded that grief is something we all share.

Accidents happen. Death happens. COVID happens.

But in the midst of all of that, joy happens as well.

I know the week will continue to hit me. I know that tears will come at the strangest times. But I also see the text I just got from an old friend checking in on me.

Micro moments of joy.

heathercphipps Happiness, Positivity, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized, Work

See the Whole Board

Let me start with a helpful Public Service Announcement. If you have not seen The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix, do nothing else until you start it.

There are few things that bring me as much joy as incredibly well done television. The writing, the acting, the gut punches and the heart warming is a great way to spend some time.

While we are at it, if you have not found a way to watch A West Wing Reunion on HBO Max, make it happen.

If you were a West Wing fan.

Which most of you were not.

Something I will never understand. It was the single best piece of television ever created, and while it won every award every year and was critically acclaimed, it never had a huge following.

But I digress.

Both the amazingly successful Netflix show and the perfectly chosen remake on HBO Max focus on chess.

See the whole board.

You can’t win a chess game without seeing the whole board. Your moves. Your opponent’s moves. The best players know what’s coming long before a move is made.

I am not an observant person. More times than I should admit, I have tried to get in to the wrong car.

But I know how critical it is to my work and to my happiness that I can see the whole board. Vision is about seeing a picture beyond what things are now to what they could be.

It is safe to say that people are not living the life they wish they could right now. Travel and gatherings are limited. Thanksgiving was different. School is different. Everything is different.

But see the whole board.

We wear a mask and keep our distance so things can be better tomorrow. We sacrifice a pawn today, so we can find checkmate in 6, 7, 11 moves.

I am not good at chess…yet. But I am learning to see the whole board.

 

heathercphipps Happiness, Leadership, Pause, Positivity, Uncategorized

Grace Under Fire


I thought about calling this grace under pressure, but it is really about grace under fire.

I saw it this week. I witnessed someone doing their very best come under fire from someone.

The details aren’t important. It could have been anyone upset about anything. It was the response that made an impact on me.

I was witness to someone who, when confronted with anger, responded with kindness and understanding. She was able to empathize and de-escalate a situation that could’ve gotten ugly. It was a remarkable show of grace.

There were lessons I will carry with me.

Pause. I am someone who likes to get things off my plate as quickly as possible. When I was teaching, if a parent reached out to me, I would call them back during passing period.

Pause. Our initial reaction when confronted with anger is likely not our best reaction. Time is our friend…not so much time that the person thinks you are ignoring the issue, but enough time to allow you to calm down.

Empathize when possible. Many times people just need to be heard, and if they can be understood, even better.

Own any issues you should.

Do not own any issues that are not yours to own.

Apologize when appropriate.

Respond with kindness. This one is the hardest. Showing kindness when confronted with anger is hard.

Grace under fire.

In our day to day interactions with people, there be a million low level confrontations. Grace and kindness go a long way towards making the world a happier place.

heathercphipps Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

Hugs Are Important


When I visited Connor’s school this year, things felt different. I mean there were the obvious changes, the hand sanitizer, the masks, the signs about not using the drinking fountains. But more subtle was the distance between people. When I stopped to ask students what they were working on, I stayed back farther than I normally do. When I talked to the teachers, we were always mindful of 6 feet between us. People are being cautious.

As they should be.

But when I stepped into Connor’s classroom, I had the best reminder of the pandemic. Distance is hard. And hug are important. He has the most amazing teacher. I have admired her for many years. She has a warmth and a caring that is palpable when you step into her room. Nothing about that has changed.

After a brief visit, when I shared that Connor was my nephew and my godson, she told Connor that he could give me a hug.

We both paused.

I was standing far away from him…at least 6 feet. We were both in masks. It was unlike any visit to his classrooms I’ve made over the years. Connor Day my sister calls it. At the suggestion that he could, in fact, give me a hug, we both stopped and looked at each other. We were both analyzing the risk.

As I’ve talked to people in recent weeks about what is causing them stress, one of the most common responses has been the fatigue involved in making every little decision.

Is it safe for my child to go to the neighbor’s house?

Is it safe to eat out on a patio when the closest table is far away?

How will we celebrate Thanksgiving? Christmas?

No decision is easy anymore. We want to be safe. We want to keep the people we love safe.

In that moment, Connor and I had to weigh the options. In the end, with neither of us having any symptoms, having been around anyone with any symptoms, both wearing masks, both healthy overall, we decided to give each other a hug. It was quick. But it was every single thing I needed.

When people ask me what I miss the most right now, I tell them movie theatres and hugging my parents.

I have said before that I would never, ever advocate doing anything unsafe. We have to mask up and avoid crowds and wash our hands. And I can’t hug my parents. And it sucks.

But I can use video calls to stay connected. I can wear a mask and keep my distance and catch up with my parents on their front porch.

And in that moment I could hug Connor.

“Hug” the people you love. It might not be an actual hug. It might be a phone call or a Facetime or homemade cookies dropped off on their doorstep. Find ways to show the people you love that we are still connected in all of the ways that matter.

The decisions are hard, but we can do hard things.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

Toxic Positivity- a reflection

Much has been written and shared lately about toxic positivity. Psychology Today defines it as keeping positive and keeping positive only…focusing on positive things and rejecting anything that may trigger negative emotions.

I get the pushback on that. I really do.

We need to fully feel our feelings. We need to cry when we are sad. We need to hurt when we have been injured. We need to be angry when we have been wronged.

It is not healthy to ignore any of those emotions. No one should tell us to smile through our pain or to ignore our hurt.

That would be toxic.

But sitting in those feelings for too long without finding a way through it is toxic as well. Pushing aside the laughter and the joy because it feels disingenuous when we are also suffering is not helping us recover. Avoiding our friends, reading too much social media, and focusing solely on the negative is not the road to healing.

We are all wrestling with months and months of isolation and fear and pressure and anger. There is nothing wrong with feeling negativity.

And there is nothing wrong with focusing on positivity.

I am grateful to the people in my life who have reached out in the last few weeks to talk about this. I knew that re-entering this space would provoke conversation. No one has been hostile or combative. They have simply asked how I reconcile my focus on positivity with all of the posts about toxic positivity.

It is not always easy.

But there is research around the healing effects of focusing on happiness and gratitude. I have experienced it firsthand. And I have experienced anxiety and depression that no amount of positive thought could undo.

We owe it to ourselves and to the people we love to seek help when we need it. It takes enormous strength to reach out for help. “Happiness is a choice” is not always true for everyone at every moment. There is nothing wrong with that.

And there is nothing wrong with spending our energy focused on being positive. We don’t need to apologize for wanting to be happy and for wanting the people in our lives to be happy.

I wish all of this was easier. It is anything but easy. But my plan is to continue to get help when I need it and to continue to focus on being positive and happy.

 

 

heathercphipps Autumn, Blogging, Fall, Halloween, Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

Looking in the Mirror

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

No, it’s not Christmas. It’s October. Pumpkin spice, rustic leaves, sweatshirt and shorts weather.

I’ve written every year about October. There is this feeling of warmth and of settling in to cozy things. Hot drinks replace lemonade, and the leaves catch fire.

But there has also been a stress in schools every year at this time. Wrapping up a quarter, conferences, and an end to the honeymoon that comes at the start of every year adds stress. I’ve written about it so many times.

But this year is different.

This year we are mired down by a virus and an election and unrest. This year has been hard…

and I went quiet.

I have not posted a blog since June. Honestly I have been nervous to post. I’ve been worried that my voice in the world would just add to the sometimes angry discourse happening on social media. But writing is how I process the world. This blog is where I am my most vulnerable and my most transparent. Without it, I’ve lost a little piece of myself.

No more.

Has this year been a challenge? Without question. But it has also been filled with weddings and babies and music and laughter.  I have watched Netflix and camped and even saw a play outside with my parents.  I will no longer quiet my voice.

Every single day is a gift…even in 2020.  If we spend our time focused on what we can’t do or what we have to do or what has changed or what we’re missing because of COVID, then we will miss all of the good happening around us.  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow.  We need to live today to its fullest!

For me, that has always meant a pumpkin pie blizzard in my favorite month of the year…and this blog.

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” Anne of Green Gables

 

heathercphipps Grit, Perseverence, Positivity, School Closure, Uncategorized

Tony Is Wearing a Tie


…and his name badge

One of the funniest moments on a recent Zoom was when a friend stopped the meeting right in the middle of it and said, “Can we just pause for a minute and ask why Tony is wearing a tie.”  I work with someone who gets up everyday and puts on a dress shirt, a tie, and his badge.  Even though he is working remotely.

It helps him maintain some sense of normalcy in a time that feels anything but normal.

But is there really such a thing as normal?

I want to start by saying that it is okay to not be okay right now.  People are sick.  People are dying.  People are losing their jobs.  People are staying home and feeling isolated or going to work and feeling scared.  

Of course we are not okay.

But it’s also worth noting that it is always okay to not be okay.  We don’t need a global pandemic for permission to feel sad or scared or angry or depressed or anxious.

Or happy.

Usually we are okay.  Sometimes we aren’t.  That’s normal.

This is not a “new normal” as some have called it.  This is just what is happening to us right now.   I think we have a unique opportunity to teach this to our children.  Every day is different.  Some are easy.  Some are hard.  Years ebb and flow, and obstacles arise that throw us completely off course. 

We face challenges, and we overcome them.

If resiliency is one of the things our children learn through this, they will be better for it.  This is likely not the first, and definitely not the last challenge they will face.  Hopefully they will not be on a global scale again, but no one’s life is free of obstacles.

It’s healthy for our children to see us struggle.  It’s normal.  It’s also healthy for them to see us persevere.  It’s normal.  It’s also okay for them to see us reach out for help.  That is most definitely normal.

So wear a tie.  Or don’t.  Curl up on the couch and watch Netflix or go for a walk or eat a giant tub of ice cream.  Or don’t.  Find what feels normal today.  

There was a before and there will be an after. That’s always the case. Today is today.  Take it for what it is.

heathercphipps Happiness, Leadership, Uncategorized

Hello Sunshine


I  am currently obsessed with audio books, and the Reese Witherspoon Book Club (Hello Sunshine) has provided more than its share of entertainment.  The books are great, but it is the bigger context that I appreciate more.

Movies are my thing.  I see them all.  (Well, that’s not completely true.  I am not a horror movie girl.  But I see the rest.)  And Reese has figured out the secret to amazing movies and mini series.  Find the best books.  Buy the rights.  Make the movie yourself.

After the success of Legally Blonde, she made sure to be a producer on the sequel.  But it was Wild where she discovered her current formula for success.  Book.  Rights.  Movie.

Gone Girl

Big Little Lies

Little Fires Everywhere

Something in the Water

Reese has spoken openly about the trajectory of her film career before the formula.  “Mostly forgettable movies.” The scripts she was getting were not what she wanted to make.  So she started making her own films.  Amy Adams is doing the same thing.

There is a lesson for us in the formula.  Less in the formula, I suppose, than in the importance of finding your own formula.

Find your own projects.  Be your own producer.

Sometimes it can feel like life is happening to us.  Like we are less in the driver’s seat and more in the backseat.  Unless I am on vacation, I have never wanted to be the one letting others take the lead.  I guess that’s why Reese and Amy and all of the CEOs and politicians and other strong women saying, “My turn,” inspire me.

Find your book.

Buy the rights.

Make your film.

heathercphipps Kid President, Positivity, Uncategorized

Be a Brad

Kid President is back. After a well-deserved break from the spotlight, Robbie and Brad are back to tell stories of awesomeness. And my heart is happy.

There is a reason we all fell in love with Kid President. We needed him. We needed his joy and his energy and his unwavering belief in the goodness of people. We needed to be reminded that we are all awesome! (And that corn dogs are good.)

Everyone needs to go back and watch the original Pep Talk.

And everyone needs to watch this preview of things to come.

Robbie says that people ask him all the time how they could become a Kid President. His response? “Get yourself a Brad!”

Brad is Robbie’s brother-in-law. Kid President was Brad’s idea. He came up with the idea for many reasons, but mostly, he says, so he could spend more time with Robbie.

I think when I was younger I wanted to be Kid President. I wanted to be the one in the spotlight. Now, I want to be Brad. I want to be the one who shines a light on other people. I want to be the one who finds awesomeness in others and helps them tell their story.

We make the world a better place by focusing on others. We shine brightest when we are helping others shine their light.

Kid President is everything I want for the young people (and the not-so-young people) in my life. He is the embodiment of hope. And Brad, he is the heart and the magic behind it all. Not in the spotlight himself, but shining brighter for the light he is helping others shine.

”Make the world a little more awesome!”

Be a Brad!

heathercphipps Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

How Are You?

I have a conflicted relationship with the phrase, “How are you?”

As a social norm, the phrase is like saying “Bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s a habit, expected almost, but it doesn’t actually mean what we say.

“How are you?” is a real question with a real answer, one that we rarely take the time to hear.

It’s important to ask people how they are doing. People want to be heard, to be known. We can brighten someone’s day by asking and by giving some of our time to really listen to the answer.

Don’t take a greeting for granted.

This week when you ask someone how they are, wait for an answer. If it’s not the right time to really talk about it, consider “Good Morning” instead.

heathercphipps Happiness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

TSA Pre✔️

I love to travel.  Well, I love to explore new places, but the actual getting there part is not much fun.

I decided it was time to apply for TSA Pre✔️.  It’s a straightforward process. You apply online, then you get an appointment time to go in for fingerprints and a background check.

Of course right now the Omaha office is technically closed.  It “closed” August 1, but TSA is giving them until the end of September to find a new location.  So there aren’t any appointments being scheduled after September 30th, and the appointments up to that point are almost impossible to get.  So I was a walk-in.  Here’s how that works.  You arrive at the office, sign-in, and they try to work you in between the appointments that are scheduled every 10 minutes.  If a scheduled appoint time arrives, they go ahead of you.  It can be quite the wait.

I learned all of this the first time I stopped in.  The mood in the waiting room was ugly.  The tension was palpable. The woman working at the desk, frazzled and frustrated from a day full of cranky people, walked me through it.  She also told me that the first 30 minutes and the last 30 minutes of the day have no scheduled appointments.  Those are your best options.

The next week I tried again.  I arrived 15 minutes before they opened.  I was first in line.  Looking good.

Then the next person arrived and got in line behind me.  Then a father and daughter.  She was wearing a Bennington sweatshirt.  Then another woman.  By the time the office opened, only one person works the first 30 minutes, there were 6 of us in line.

At first we were quiet.  Then at one point the woman asked the girl in the sweatshirt if she went to Bennington.  It started a conversation.  Soon we were all talking.  When the woman arrived to open the office, we were relaxed and friendly.  We greeted her, and we acknowledged that her job has to be a challenge.  There was a visible change in her demeanor.  She softened.

We signed in, and it took about 10 minutes for the lone employee to get us all signed in and then go back and get her computer ready to start the day.  I was first.  In and out in 10 minutes.  The man behind me got in and out.  By then the appointments had started.  I have no idea how long the other 4 people waited.

But I do know that the mood in the waiting room was different.  I know that each person who came in felt something different than the people walking in the week before.

Attitude is contagious.

The 6 of us in line made a choice.  We chose to be kind to each other.  We chose to be kind to the woman who has what I can only imagine is a challenging job.  We chose not to let the line, the inconvenience, the wait, define our attitude.  We chose to be pleasant.  We chose to be happy.  And that attitude spread.

There will be times in our lives when we are not able to happy.  There are for me. In those times, I hope we seek help.

But there are times every single day when we do have a choice.  Choose to be happy.  It’s contagious.

heathercphipps Positivity, Uncategorized

Positivity

There is a feeling of hope that comes with the anticipation of a new year. There is a sense that whatever happened in the old year is done and gone and this next year can be something entirely new.  (This, by the way, is also my favorite thing about school years. They start and stop, and we get the chance to rebuild and re-imagine.)

One word

Resolution

Goal

There are many ways to define that thing we do as the calendar turns over, but essentially they are all about choosing a focus for the new year.

This year my one word, my resolution, my focus is positivity.

I cannot control most of the events in our world, but I can work to influence where possible.

I cannot control many of the things that happen to my family and friends and colleagues and students, but I can support them in the good and bad times.

I cannot control the people around me, but I can control myself.

This is not the first year that I have chosen positivity as my word.  In fact, I have set this as a goal many times.  But I am older, and hopefully wiser, and I understand better now what a challenge this can sometimes be.  There was a time when people called me Pollyanna.  There was time when I believed that all I had to do was want to be positive, and I would see the glass as always half full.

I know better now.  Positivity is a choice, but it is a choice to behave in ways that make it more likely to be successful.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

There are many things in life that I cannot control.  But there are many things I can.

I can control what I eat.  I have such a better outlook on things when I’ve made healthier choices in food.

I can control whether or not I work out.  It’s not about looking better (although I do have my eye on a new swimsuit), but I feel better all day when I have moved in the morning.

I can control how long I sleep at night.  It is almost always harder to deal with daily stress when I am tired.

I can control whether or not I take the time to meditate.  I’ve come to believe in the power of mindfulness to influence my reactions to things.  (Check out the Headspace app sometime.)

And I can ask for help when I need it.

My work, my relationships, my life are all more enjoyable when I engage in them with positivity.  A goal without a plan is just a wish.

I have a plan.  What’s yours?

heathercphipps Activities and Athletics, Husker Football, Perseverence, Uncategorized

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

This week was state cross country, so it hardly seems fair to say that slow and steady wins the race.  But more times than not, when looking at a situation over time, slow and steady wins the race.

Cross country student athletes have been running for months to prepare for that race.

Marching bands have been waking up at the crack of dawn to practice since summer.

Our students have been putting in the time to prepare and our coaches and directors have been putting in the work to help them grow. So many fall activities are reaching their peak right now.  As we watch the final moments, it’s easy to forget the work that went into the moment.

That’s what I took from the Husker win this week.  After the first game, we’ll technically after the second game, I blogged about hoping the coach and the student athletes would stay Calm in a Crisis.

We live in a state that takes its college football seriously.  I can only imagine the pressure the team feels every year. But the only way to win is to take it slow and steady.  One practice at a time.  One lesson at a time. One moment at a time.  That’s how you change a culture.

Any culture.

There is a powerful lesson in that for us as leaders.  Vision becomes reality slowly.  It takes calm, consistent focus.

Pause long enough to recognize where you are on your own journey.  It’s true that a journey of a thousand miles behind with a single step.  Each one of those steps matters.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Happiness, Kindness, Uncategorized

The Wood Behind the Arrow

Our city came together this week to acknowledge that we could all use a little more kindness in our lives. #BeKind was a citywide effort to shine a light on the ability of a kind word, a kind action, a kind moment to change things for a person who is struggling…or anyone for that matter.

Our schools were emblazoned with #BeKind shirts and murals and posters and rocks. There were clever videos and social media posts. Parents and businesses joined in the movement. It was everywhere.

But what overwhelmed me was not the cuteness, although there was plenty of cuteness to go around.

What overwhelmed me was the wood behind the arrow. I learned that phrase a few years ago on a visit to Apple. It’s all about the effort, the resources, the wood behind the arrow of an idea or a product. An arrow with no wood behind it goes nowhere. An idea with no depth, no substance, goes nowhere. Last night as we were talking about the day a friend reminded me about the wood behind the arrow.

Yesterday was about more than a slogan. Schools talked about HOW to be kind. There were resource fairs where our students learned about volunteer opportunities. They wrote cards and opened doors and shared things they like about their classmates. There was action, tangible action, to BE kind. There was wood behind the arrow.

I am grateful to the city and school leaders who started the conversations and paved the way for the initiative. I am grateful for the teachers and counselors and principals and student leaders who put real thought and creative energy behind designing meaningful activities for the day. And I am grateful for the simple idea that kindness matters.

Sometimes we think making the world a better place is complicated. And I am well aware that we have complex issues that require complex solutions. But in fact, the world is made better with each individual act of kindness. Act where you are. Smile when you can. Hold the door open. Make eye contact and thank people who show you kindness. Say please and thank you. Assume the best of the people you meet. And never ever forget that “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

Thank you for being kind to me. I hope I am kind to you. I know that this week was a good reminder that no act of kindness is ever wasted.

heathercphipps Gratitude, Optimism, Perseverence, Positivity, Uncategorized

Lessons from the Caribbean

Spring Break was amazing.  I am blessed to be able to spend time traveling and seeing the world.  This year we visited St. Thomas and St. Maarten, and we met people who embody gratitude and optimism.

Both islands were hit by the hurricanes that ravaged the Caribbean last fall.  Both islands are still very much in the early stages of recovery. St. Maarten was hit particularly hard. What was once an island of shops and bars and restaurants is now an island of rubble.  But the beaches are beautiful and the water is full of colors you can’t imagine and the people we met there were kind and optimistic and grateful.  It was humbling and overwhelming to be in their presence.  They have so much to teach us all.

“You’ve got to have a plan.”  These people had foresight and survival instincts.  They took their mattresses with them into the bathroom as they hid from Irma and Maria.  Those mattresses saved their lives when the storm blew out the windows.  They found temporary shelter for months during and after the storm, using coolers and getting creative when there was no power and no electricity.  They kept their wits about them, and they had a plan for survival.  You’ve got to have a plan.

“It is not the physical damage that causes the most pain.  It is what can happen in your head.”  We heard stories about children after the storm who kept reliving the experience, mothers who worked tirelessly to help them feel better and who are still focusing on the emotional needs of the people around them.  Trauma changes people.  Physical wound heal.  Emotional wounds linger.

“When the storm is over, you pick yourself up, find your family and friends, and start cleaning up.”  No one we met was wallowing or focusing on the negative.  They were all just taking the next step, doing the next thing.

Every person we met on St. Maarten thanked us for being there.  They are grateful to be alive, and they are grateful that people are visiting “even though the island is broken.”  It is an amazing place.  It is beautiful beyond description, and the people who live there are wise and strong.  It has always been a paradise for visitors, but right now it is also teeming with life lessons. I am blessed to be able to spend time traveling and seeing he world.

heathercphipps Birthdays, Happiness, Positivity, Uncategorized

Ask for What You Want

It’s my birthday on Friday!  This will come as no surprise to many of you. I am obnoxious when it comes to my birthday.  I claim a Birthday Month.  I start a countdown as soon as the calendar turns over to February.  I make sure everyone knows that it is coming and that I love birthdays.

I really do.

“Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many.”  Birthdays are a reminder of the gift of days, weeks, years.  I do not take those for granted.

But what I have learned over the years is that I should tell people that my birthday is coming up and that my birthday is a big deal to me.

I remember when my daughter went to school on her birthday in 6th grade…excited to see how her friends had decorated her locker.  And I remember the sadness in her voice when she called to tell me that no one had decorated it.  She had great friends who cared about her.  They did not neglect her to be mean or spiteful.  It just didn’t occur to them for whatever reason, and it hurt.

It reminded me of the many years that I went to school or work excited to see how people would celebrate with me.  Or the times I passed a milestone or hit an anniversary of some kind, anxious for others to make a big deal out of it.  And many times, I was disappointed.

I have the greatest family and friends and colleagues in the world.  They are kind and caring and thoughtful. They have never intentionally missed an event or failed to acknowledge something.

But our happiness is often inversely proportional to our level of expectation.  (A wise friend taught me that.)  If we expect something grand, even something good can be disappointing.  Many times we build up what we hope will happen and then we are disappointed when it does not play out exactly as we planned.

That’s on us.  That’s on me.

I have learned that if I want something to be a big deal, I should tell people what I want and set about to make it happen.  I am in control of my own happiness.  I can ask for what I want.  I do not believe that this adage is about maintaining low levels of expectation.  I have never been accused of low levels of expectation.  I expect big!  But I have learned  that secretly hoping others can read my mind in order to “surprise me” with exactly what I wanted is foolish.  Ask for what you want.

My birthday is Friday.  Birthdays are a big deal to me.  What’s a big deal to you?  Tell me.  I want to celebrate it with you.

heathercphipps Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

We’re All in This Together

I washed my car this weekend.  (I know from the beautiful weather and from the length of the line that I am not the only one.)  First I filled my tank, and then I pulled in behind several other cars.  After a few minutes, the woman in the car behind me jumped out and came up to my window.  I rolled it down, and she explained that my gas cap and gas door were open.  Whew!  Good catch before I drove into a car wash.

I thanked her, and she said, “We’re all in this together.”

Wow!  She is someone I would like to know.  The people in her life must be better for knowing her.  How is that for something that just rolled off her tongue.  She is right.  In fact it was the title of the very first blog I ever wrote,  We’re All in this Together.

Sometimes I think we overcomplicate things.  (Pause for laughter from the people who know me well.  I am the master of overcomplicating and overthinking.). Life is really not as complex as we make it.

Be kind.

Think before you act.

Treat other people well.

Stand up for your beliefs and for people who can’t stand up for themselves, but do it respectfully.

Grace is always better than anger.

Perform simple, random acts of kindness.  If you notice someone in front of you in line is about to drive into the car wash with her gas cap open, let her know.

Thank you to the woman who did that for me.  And thank you for the simple reminder that we are, in fact, all in this together.

heathercphipps Back to School, Gratitude, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

I Got to Work on Christmas Day

My husband and I spent a few days in Kansas City after Christmas. It was cold, but it was fun to get away for a bit. We stayed in a hotel where breakfast is provided, and each morning I grabbed some food to eat in the room. The same woman was working both days. She was warm and friendly and helped get the morning off to a great start.

On the second day a mother popped in and asked if there was any hot chocolate. The woman working showed her where it was and then suggested that she also use some of the whipped cream by the waffles to top it off. The mom thanked her and explained that her daughter was going to love that.

After the mom left, the woman and I were talking. I told her that was a clever idea. She shared that she had gotten to work on Christmas Day, and she made cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles for all of the kids on Christmas morning. She talked about what a fun morning it was and how each of the children lit up when she gave them the hot chocolate. You could tell from her voice and her face and her energy that she genuinely had a good time.

I do not know anything about this woman. I do not know if she has children of her own who were at home without her on Christmas morning. I do not know if she celebrates Christmas. But I do know that she is great at her job! And I am not sure that I would have had such joy in my voice if I had been talking about working on Christmas. She genuinely meant it when she said, “I got to work on Christmas morning.”

Attitude is everything.

Yesterday I texted a friend and said that I had to write a blog. I have taken a few weeks off over the holidays, but it’s time to get back at it. The response was, “Why do you have to write one?” It reminded me of the woman at the hotel. I do not have to write a blog. I get to write a blog.

Verbs matter.

Today marks the end of winter break. Vacation is good. It is important to rest and relax and recharge. But tomorrow we get to step back into our schools and do some of the most important work there is. We get to greet our students by name and welcome them back to a safe and friendly place. We get to celebrate with the ones who had a great time, and we get to provide relief for the ones who did not spend their break with an abundance of food or clothes or gifts. Do not take it for granted that everyone had a great holiday. I am genuinely happy to get back to work. I am genuinely happy to have even a small piece in making a child’s eyes light up.

Tomorrow we get to go back to work!

heathercphipps 2016, Football, Husker Football, Positivity, Uncategorized

I Refuse to Manage My Expectations

The Huskers have a new football coach.  As the news was officially leaked, likely a day earlier than the University and the coach himself had wanted,  the state went crazy.  Weeks, months, years of frustration seemed to melt away in an instant.  The Nebraska kid who made good was coming home.  I was giddy.  And almost immediately I was reminded that I should “manage my expectations.”

It will likely take time to return Nebraska to its historical glory.  Recruiting may still be a challenge.  After all, despite evidence to the contrary this week, it gets really cold here in the winter.  After all, this season was less than a success in the wins and losses category.  After all, next year will be about rebuilding, and there is hard work to be done.

But still, I refuse to manage my expectations!

I choose to believe that amazing things are about to happen.  I choose to believe that a new coaching staff will find the magic, and in no time at all the Huskers will be a powerhouse.  I choose to see the best possible future for Scott Frost and his staff, for the student-athletes who are working so hard to find success on the field, and for the fans who admittedly care maybe too much about our football team.

I refuse to manage my expectations!

We choose each day how we view the world.  We can be pragmatic.  We can evaluate the pros and cons, weigh the many options, and then choose the safest course.  We can manage our expectations of others and try to manage their expectations of us.  And if I’m being honest, there are times when each of those is necessary and smart.

But for the most part, I choose to believe that in any given situation the best possible outcome is the one that will come to be.  I choose to believe that rather than managing my expectations, I should actually raise my expectations.  I should expect the most for myself and for those around me.  And I should expect the most from myself and from those around me.

Will I be disappointed sometimes?  Of course.  That’s life.  But the disappointment will be hard whether I anticipated it or not.  Why not choose to believe that things will work out?

I am not suggesting we ignore reality, bury our head in the sand, or forget that in most cases it is our actions that create our best possible future.  When we set high expectations, we also have to agree to do the hard work.  But why not choose to believe that we are about to find the magic?

heathercphipps Perseverence, Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

When Your Best Isn’t Enough

We’ve all been there.  All of us.  At one time or another, we have all attempted something and come up short.  It might have been something as small as a grade on a paper or a test when we were in school.  It might have been something bigger like training for months to set a personal record in a half marathon.  Or it might have been something truly life-changing like taking a high-profile new job in an unfamiliar place halfway across the country.  Big or small, there is something especially painful about investing your time and energy into something, working hard, truly doing your best, and having it not be enough.   We’ve all been there.

I am not talking about that time I signed up to do a 5K and then never really got around to training.  That’s on me.  I’ve jumped head-first into plenty of endeavors only to find myself too busy to really invest the needed time to do it well.  I have a collection of hobbies in the garage that never really made their way into my daily routine.  Of course I am not an expert with my bow and arrow.  I’ve hardly ever used it.

No, I’m not talking about those things.  I am talking about the things that mattered.

I am talking about the things that were worth the time and money and patience and heart to get right.  I am talking about the things that got you up at 3:45 in the morning, the things that sent you back to school, the things you obsessed over and read about and journaled about, the things that convinced you to walk away from a safe job in a familiar place with people you knew only to start an adventure with an uncertain ending.

I’m talking about the pain that comes when one of those things doesn’t work out, when your best isn’t enough.  And we have all been there.

In those moments you have a choice.  You can choose to be defeated.  You can choose to wallow and retreat and shut yourself away.  You can choose to stop taking the big risks.

Or you can stand up, face the reporters (literal or figurative as they may be), and explain that you did your best.  You can continue to wake up at 3:45 and to take the big risks.  You can choose to hold your head up, maintain the highest levels of class and grace and dignity, and honestly mean it when you say that you would not have traded the experience simply because it did not end the way you had hoped.

“That wasn’t the measure of the experience.  It’s just the way it ended.” (Aaron Sorkin, The West Wing)

heathercphipps Autumn, Fall, Halloween, Positivity, Uncategorized

Embracing October 

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  October has returned, and in its usual fashion it is equal parts glorious and hard.  No, that is far from accurate.  It is mostly beautiful weather and trips to the pumpkin patch and football and concerts and plays.  It is mostly vanilla-flavored candles and fun decorations on the mantle.  I love October!

But it can also be hard.  My children have been busy with school and clinical and jobs.  My work family has been busy as well.  It’s been amazing and important work, but it’s been a lot.  A few of us got pretty sick, and I have to admit that I have not been as patient or gracious or kind as I would like to be.  This can be a challenging time.

Something I have learned through the years though is that spending too much time focused on the negative serves no value.

October has returned, and I am thrilled.

This has always been my favorite time of the year.

Halloween is big in my family.  What’s not to love?  Costumes and candy and pumpkin-spiced everything.  This year my daughter is going all-out in a “cubicle decorating contest” at work.  It is becoming epic.  I’ve got pumpkins in the entryway and gourds at work.  It’s beginning to look a lot like Halloween.

The weather changed this week.  A more sudden shift from warm to cold than last year.  The leaves are turning, and the fall rain has settled in.  It is finally jacket and sweatshirt weather.  There is comfort in thick socks and a soft sweater.  There is comfort in wrapping up on the couch in a blanket reading a book.  I spent hours doing that this weekend.

In the sweltering heat of July and in the frigid cold of January, I sometimes wonder why we live here.  October reminds me!   Autumn in the Midwest is spectacular.  Nebraska is at her best when the rustic colors fill the trees and the gentle rain coats the streets.  This is my favorite time of the year, and I know I am not alone.

This will be a busy week in our district.  Conferences are in full swing, grades are finalized and being shared with families, and there are professional development and teacher work days next week.  There will be some long days.

I encourage you to pause in the midst of the crazy this week and savor the season.  It goes much too fast.

Focus less on the negative and more on the positive.

When someone says, “How are you?”  Answer, “Fantastic!”

Positivity is contagious.  Spread it around.

October has returned, and I am thrilled.

heathercphipps Eclipse, Uncategorized

But What If It’s Cloudy?

When I was a child, we only had three commercial television stations and PBS.  Every Saturday morning was set aside for cartoons, and we were still “turning the channel” by hand.  (Insert similar story from my parents about walking to school in the winter, through the snow, uphill, both ways.)  A few times a year, there were “major television events.”  We would gather to watch The Wizard of Oz or Gone with the Wind.  I have vivid memories of the 3D glasses, one red lens and one blue lens, purchased from the convenient store to watch 3D movies on TV.  Those were the days.

Communities came together.  We shared collective experiences .  We planned for them; the news hyped them up for weeks; and we knew exactly what everyone would be doing at that moment.  It was an event.

This week I have a similar pair of glasses sitting on my desk.  Something amazing is happening tomorrow.  A once in a lifetime opportunity, a collective experience.  Many have been waiting years, decades even, for the chance to see a total eclipse of the sun over the skies in the United States.  It will be incredible.  In our district a dedicated team of people have been getting us ready for this one day, this one moment, since last winter.  Research has been done.  Safety has been planned.  Lessons are designed.  We have even “drilled” the experience.  It is going to be amazing!  We have a once in a lifetime opportunity to show our students a solar eclipse at 98% (just out of the path of totality), to teach them the science, and to help them experience the awe that accompanies it.

But what if it’s cloudy?

Nature does not always cooperate with our plans.  There is chance for clouds, even rain, on Monday.  All of this work could be for naught.

Untrue.

I would propose that if it is cloudy, if the skies open up in a torrential downpour, we still have the opportunity to teach our students something important.  First, of course, there is a Plan B in place.  We know the ways we can live stream the eclipse to keep the instruction going.  But I think we can also teach an important life skill if the best laid plans go awry.  Attitude is everything.  Embrace what the day gives you.

Things do not always go as planned.  In fact, they rarely do.  So what?  Some of my favorite memories happened in unexpected rain.  Riding the Splashover at Adventureland in a rainstorm was more fun than it would ever have been in the sun.  Hiding under the evergreens on a mountain in Colorado (just yards away from the moose we never saw) was more memorable than a successful hike in the sun would have been.  Attitude is everything.  Embrace what the day gives you.

If it is cloudy on Monday, we will still get to show our students an eclipse.  Maybe we’ll be in our glasses looking out the window then sitting in the library watching the NASA live feedback with hundreds of thousands of other people.  Maybe we’ll see it over Oregon or Illinois.  Still cool.  Attitude is everything.

Embrace the experience…whatever it is.

heathercphipps Balance, Optimism, Positivity, Recharge, Uncategorized

Take Care of You

May is a challenge.  So many things are tied to a school year that most of us, whether we work in schools or not, are somehow impacted by the craziness of May.

The time commitments in May are staggering.  The emotions as children graduate and as things come to an end, as they always do, can be over-whelming.  The work to wrap up school years or legislative sessions or college careers can exhaust you if you are not careful.

So I encourage you to be careful.  Now more than ever, you need to take care of yourself.  I have learned a real truth over time that I am not the best version of me when I do not take care of myself.  When I snap at people, when I am easily offended by people, when I am rude or scared or sad for little reason, I can almost always trace it back to not taking care of myself.

HALT is an acronym for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.  I like to add sick, so I usually refer to HALTS.  These are physical and emotional states that wreak havoc on our well-being.  We do not make our best decisions or behave in our best ways when we are experiencing any of these.  May is a great time to control what you can control.  And we can control much more than we realize.

Eat.  It sounds crazy to say that but there were two days this week when I did not eat lunch, and of course I was less effective in the afternoon.  Any advantage I gained getting work done (and I did get a lot done in that “extra time”) was offset by my mood in the afternoon.  Of course eating healthy is even better.  Avoiding the food coma and brain fog that come with bad choices at a meal or a snack is always a benefit.  But first, just eat.

Sleep.  Again the busier we get, the more tempting it is to knock out two or three extra hours of work at the expense of sleep.  Never a good idea!  There are times in our lives, having a newborn comes to mind, when sleep is a luxury we cannot afford.  But those times are rare.  Sleep is one of the most powerful tools for our well-being that is almost entirely in our control.  Go to bed an hour earlier tonight.  Your physical and mental state will thank you tomorrow.

Exercise.  You do not have to train for a marathon to be active.  Just move.  Will you feel better physically?  Of course!  But you will also feel better emotionally. There will be people right now saying that they are too busy to both sleep and exercise.  Something’s got to give.  But that’s not true.  You are entirely in control of your ability to do both.  Some of the busiest people I know find time to do both, and they are far more efficient and more effective because of it.

Angry and lonely are more powerful than hungry and tired, and they can feel harder to control.  But you can.  The greatest secret in life is that we are all in control of ourselves to a much greater level than we realize.

Take gratitude walks.  Practice mindfulness.  Cultivate friendships.  Volunteer to serve others.  See a movie by yourself.  Turn off your phone.  And for heaven’s sake, seek help when you need help.  There are amazing professionals trained to help us cope when we cannot do it ourselves.   Seek them out.  The strongest people I know ask for help when they need it.

May can overwhelm, but if it does, we miss out on all of the fun.  Life is crazy.  Take care of yourself, so you can enjoy it!

heathercphipps Balance, Leadership, Positivity, Uncategorized

School Zones 

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I drive past an elementary school every day on my way to work.  It sits on a very busy, four lane road.  For whatever reason, I hit the spot everyday this week when the school zone lights were flashing.  The traffic is supposed to slow down from its usual 45 miles per hour.  And what I noticed was that even in the rush hour craziness, people really were slowing down. There is a moment of realization when you see the five, six, seven years olds, this week bundled in coats and hats and mittens, hurrying down the sidewalk.  A realization that no meeting, no conference call, no presentation is worth the danger you pose if you are not safe.  There is nothing you need to do that is as important as their safety.  And people, for the most part, slowed down.

It’s not easy.  Life is fast-paced.  We go, go, go all the time.  But that go is not always good.  It does not always result in our best choices, our best work.

A friend reminded me this week of the importance of slowing down.  I was moving too fast, doing too much, making mistakes.  She said, “Slow down.”  And she was right.  It is important, especially in our craziest moments, to slow down.  Pause.  Take a deep breath.

I can multi-task with the best of them.  I move quickly.  I am fast on my feet.  But that is not always a good thing.  Time for reflection and time to really evaluate the situation is essential in order to make the best decisions.

What helps you slow down?

For me it’s always been movies and TV shows.  I lose myself in a great episode of The West Wing.  I refocus after two hours in a movie theatre.  Taking some time to play with the kittens, listen to music, or walk on the treadmill helps me slow down.

We are entering some of the busiest months of the school year.  We’re living in two school years, finishing the work of this year and planning for the work of the next.  It is exciting and energizing and exhausting.  It can be easy to move too fast, do too much, make mistakes.

Find what works to still your mind.  Pause and reflect and take some time to slow down.  Realize that work will always be busy.  There will always be too much going on in your life. But none of that is more important than your peace of mind.