heathercphipps Balance, Education, Gratitude, Happiness, Uncategorized

The Wrong Room

I’ve long been a fan of the expression (credited to many going all the way back to Confucius) that if you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. (I also like the one that says the smartest person in the room is the room.)

Today I was reminded that this applies to almost anything. Smart. Funny. Creative. Interesting.

I saw an advertisement in my social media feed that said, “become the most interesting woman in the room.” It was an ad for one of the many apps that reduce books to fifteen minutes or ten key nuggets of wisdom.

Two thoughts.

The first is that if I am ever the most interesting woman in the room, I am most certainly in the wrong room. How incredibly boring would that be? I am lucky enough to spend my life with women who are smart and funny and creative and kind. They are wise and witty. They are mothers and teachers and friends and daughters. They are powerful, and they are humble.

And they are way more interesting than I am. That’s why I love to be in the room with them.

The second thought I had when I saw the ad was that we may have become too busy as a society if we need apps that reduce thoughtful books to a few nuggets we can knock out on a treadmill.

No judgement if these are helpful tools for any of you. I just know that SparkNotes might get you through a test over To Kill a Mockingbird, but it will never move you to tears.

Books are meant to be savored.

Whether it’s a fiction book meant to entertain you or a self help book meant to help you grow, snippets will never provide the breadth of what the author was trying to convey.

We get ourselves in trouble when we take a sentence out of context or reference only a piece of the whole. Use the apps if they work for you, but never stop reaching for the full meaning of things.

heathercphipps Family, Gratitude, Kindness, Optimism, Positivity, Uncategorized

7305 Extra Days

Today is the 20th anniversary of a day that didn’t change my life…but could’ve.

I was a teacher, and it was the last day of spring break.  Kelsey had just turned nine, and Hunter was almost seven.  The girls and I decided we’d spend our last vacation day going to the mall to Build a Bear.  I can’t honestly remember what animals they made.  Hunter would know.  She remembers all of it.

As we were checking out, I had a sudden and painful feeling in my throat.  I felt dizzy and nauseous.  The girl checking us out offered me a mint.  In hindsight her gesture of kindness has provided us plenty of laughs.  “Like a mint was going to save your life.”  How could she have known?

I have a connective tissue disorder called Marfan Syndrome.  It causes parts of my body to weaken over time, the most significant of which is my aorta.  And on that day I was having something called an aortic dissection.  There was a tear between the layers of my aorta, but I did not know it at the time.

We paid, left Build a Bear, and headed to the food court where thankfully a friend of mine was eating.  We call her my Guardian Angel.  I knew something was wrong, but I was insistent that this could not possibly be an aortic dissection.  She took over in that moment and drove my children and me to the hospital.

The story gets long and complicated from there. I’ve always believed I would write it all at some point. I’m less sure of that now. Suffice it to say that several hours later I finally had a CT Scan, was diagnosed, and was taken in to surgery.  The surgery lasted five hours, but the recovery took months.  Those five hours were so much harder for my family and friends than they were for me.  I honestly only know the details of the next few days from the things people have told me.

So many people.  A friend prayed over me before I went in to surgery. Friends and family spent time in the waiting room and countless hours sitting with me over the next days, weeks, and months.  People cleaned our house and brought us food.  One friend who lives out of town sent me a card and a package of some kind every day, every single day, for weeks.  My students wrote letters, and one even recorded her piano music to soothe me.  People are good beyond measure.

I also learned to be patient.  I dissected a week before my Master’s Degree comps and a week before my first interview for an administrative job. Obviously neither of those thing happened then.  But they did happen.  Eventually.  I have learned that for me things work out eventually, just not always in the way I envisioned or on the timeline I chose.

I also tell people that the most powerful lesson for me was to enjoy every day.  Every single day is a gift. We say that, and it is true.  Twenty years ago today I almost died, but I didn’t.  I have had 7305 extra days to learn and love and laugh.  I have had 7305 extra days to make mistakes, to fall down, and to get back up.

I have had 20 extra years to love my children and my husband and to meet my son-in-law and his precious, precious triplets.

Last week Bentley asked me about my scar. Maybe someday I’ll tell her the story.

For my birthday this year, I asked my family to go with me back to Build a Bear. It had, after all, been 20 years. It was a blast. And cathartic. And more emotional than my children and I could explain to the poor girl stitching Brooks’s dinosaur.

I guess I just want to say thank you to all of you who made that day, and the 7305 days that followed, a blessing.

heathercphipps Blogging, Purpose, Uncategorized

Narrate the Story Well


I put off reading Where the Crawdads Sing for far too long. I’m not sure why. Everyone said I would love it. Everyone was reading it. But I put it off and put it off. When I finally did read it, I loved it. Just like everyone said I would.

It appears I have done it again. I started reading The Book Thief this week. It’s hardly new. In fact the movie based on it came out in 2013. (I haven’t seen that either.) And I am smitten. It is beautiful.

I will likely watch the movie once I finish the book, but I cannot imagine the story without the narrator. To me, the beauty in the story lies completely and totally with the narrator. His skill with language. His ability to talk right to me. His recognition that “the people left behind” have stories worth telling. And his love for the girl.

Did I mention that the narrator is Death? And again I am smitten.

There is something about a really good story that moves me. But there is something about a really good narrator, the ability to share someone else’s story, that moves me even more.

It got me thinking about our own stories.

I am a passionate advocate for telling your story. It’s hard to imagine someone who blogs who isn’t. Each of us has experiences and perspectives and stories that need to be told. Sometimes we share our stories ourself, but sometimes we get the joy and the honor and the responsibility to tell someone else’s story.

Tell it well.

I want to be the kind of person that shines a light on others. I want to be the kind of person who is looking for stories to be told. I want to be the kind of person who others trust with their ideas and their perspectives, and I want to put those things out there for the world to see.

I have a long way to go, but Death reminded me this week that narrating a story well is a worthy goal.

heathercphipps Leadership, Purpose, Uncategorized

The Alphabet Game

Our favorite game on road trips is the alphabet game.  You can pass hours and hours playing.  The rules are simple: the first person to spot all 26 letters of the alphabet, in order, on signs or buildings or anything really outside of your own car, wins.  The games plays out in almost the same way every time.  You fly along from A to E and then pause for a few minutes on F.  You jump back in at G until you get stuck at J.  Q is the worst.  You cross your fingers and hope for a Dairy Queen or an Antique Shoppe.  You hit a bit of a snag at X, and the game almost always comes down to who spots the Pizza Hut first.

Some letters just aren’t used very often.

That doesn’t make them less important.

This week a friend asked me which letter of the alphabet is used the most.  It’s E.  Which is used the least?  Depending on the source, it varies between Q, Z, X, and J.  Does that make them less important?  Of course not.  One could argue it makes them more important.

We don’t have to use something often for it to have great value…emergency brakes, fire extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors.  We hope we don’t have to use them often, but they are essential for our well being.

I think the same is true in life.

Many times the people who say the most, who are seen the most, are the ones who get the most attention.

It’s football season.  I’ve been watching my share of high school and college games.  I am fascinated by the kickers.  Not a lot of glamour in that role.  Not a lot of time on the field.  But how many games have we already seen this year that were decided in the final seconds by a field goal?  The kicker is an essential role on any team.  Just because we do not call on player as often does not make then any less valuable.

Are you investing enough time in your special teams?

A game can be won or lost in a single play.  Every person, every position matters.  The last letter of the alphabet is as valuable as the first.

Every person on the team, in the cast, on the staff, in the community, plays a vital role.  At times you may be called on to take the lead.  You may be the person on the stage, the one who is used the most.  Other times you will play a supporting role.  You will be seen less.  At those times, your work is no less important.

Good leaders know this.  Good coaches, good administrators, good teachers know this.  The best leaders work to build relationships and develop skills in everyone on their team.  And the best team members do their best work at all times, not just when they are the star.  This week, whether you feel like the E or you feel like the Z, do your best to do your best!

heathercphipps Positivity, Purpose, Uncategorized

The Happiest Place on Earth…on Purpose

Have you ever noticed that when you start thinking (or writing) about something that you begin to see examples of it everywhere.  It’s like buying a new car and suddenly seeing it at every intersection.

It’s been that way for me all summer.  I have been working on myself, and I have been reflecting and thinking (and writing) about my purpose.  Last week my family took a purposeful break from the world and spent six days in the Happiest Place on Earth.  And it was just that!  Disney World does not disappoint.

We were surrounded by people and organizations clear in their purpose.  Our flights out were enjoyable.  I have always been impressed by the intentionality with which Southwest Airlines makes flights fun.  They know their purpose, and they seem genuinely happy to be making us happy during our travel.

And everyone knows that Disney tends to even the smallest detail in order to make it the Happiest Place on Earth.  They know their purpose, and each and every person in the organization is focused on making it a reality.  From the shuttle driver, to the women handing out buttons and badges at the bus stops, to the characters who never stop entertaining, it is magic, purposeful magic.

There is power in knowing your purpose.  It guides your steps and motivates your work.  We need purpose in our profession, and we need purpose in our personal lives.  This has been my journey this summer, to reflect on the many purposes I see for myself.

The purpose of our vacation was to disconnect from the world and to reconnect with each other.  And let’s face it, our purpose was to have fun.  Man did we have fun!

heathercphipps Purpose, Uncategorized

Our Best Selves

You are going to be great at something; you just don’t know what it is yet. We should be saying that every day to the young people in our lives. We should be saying that every day to the adults in our lives. We should be saying that to ourselves every day until we do know what it is. We are all meant to be great.

Have you found your purpose, your reason for being? Are you doing all you can every single day to bring that purpose to life?

Finding purpose is the key to a fulfilling life. I have been blessed to find mine. I have been blessed by powerful mentors and coaches who have helped me find my purpose and more importantly to create a plan to make that purpose, that passion, a reality.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Antoine de Saint-Expery

I have a friend who challenged me to take my writing to the next level. He helped me define specific, tangible, measurable, and realistic action steps in order to achieve my goal. He reaffirmed my purpose, and he guided my thinking around the steps to make my purpose come to life. And I, in turn, helped him do the same. He is almost done with a fantastic 300 page book. I like to think I had a small piece in pushing him to make that a reality.

I have another friend who encouraged me to pursue educational administration and to take the first step and the next step and the next step in becoming the leader I am today. He still walks side-by-side with me to push me, to challenge me, to support me, and to see to it that I get a little better each day. We all need those coaches.

Working in education is a gift. Every day I get to help create safe, caring, supportive environments where children can learn. Every day I get to take actionable steps to make the world a little better for the students in our care. Every day. It is a blessing I do not take for granted.

I have another friend who has helped me redefine my purpose outside of my profession. And now through the blog I hope that I have been able to extend my reach. I have enjoyed the comments, the messages, the conversations with people about the ideas I have put out into the world. It has given me a larger purpose, and I am enjoying the journey.

I want each of you to pause this week and to reflect on your purpose and the steps you are or are not taking to live that purpose. Life is short my friends. We owe it to the world to live the best version of ourselves.

heathercphipps Purpose, Uncategorized

Purpose

I have learned so much about myself in the last two and a half years. This blogging adventure has taken me places I never dreamed I would go. I cannot begin to tell you how many people ask me where I find the time to blog. To be honest, at this point, I cannot imagine my life without it. When I write, time stands still.

It is possible in life to be so absorbed in an activity, so completely filled with energy, that you lose all track of time and simply exist in the moment. No fear, no anxiety, no jealousy. Just purpose. In psychology that state is called flow, and it is a key element in the science of happiness.

In his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (1990), Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains that happiness is not a fixed state. We can LEARN happiness as we discover the activities that provide us flow.

Have you found yours?

For me writing is one of them. I have learned through this process that I am a happier person when I am sharing my thoughts. I can lose hours just sitting at the keyboard putting thought to paper. I’ve learned through this blog that for me it is less about the actual task of writing and more about the ideas that I could spark in another person. Life is a powerful teacher, and sharing thing I’ve learned feeds my soul. It has become an important purpose in my life.

What is your purpose? Why were you put on this earth? Do you know yet?

“Every one of us has a WHY, a deep-seated purpose, cause or belief that is the source of our passion and inspiration. You may not yet know what yours is or how to express it in words. But we guarantee, you have one.” Simon Sinek

Life is full of so many things, moments, events, experiences. But life should be about more than that. Our life should be about our purpose. Have you taken the time to discover yours?

This can be a loaded question. As a mother, of course my children are the most important thing in my life. How could my answer be anything else? I am an educator. Of course education is the most important thing in my life. I am a human being. Of course human rights are the most important thing in my life. How could anything compare to all of that?

But it is possible to be a mother and an educator and champion of human rights and still find purpose in something else. Purpose can be found in many places. Are you feeding your purpose through your profession right now, or are you just going to work? Are you finding your purpose in things outside of work, or are you just going through life completing tasks. The truth is that many people have not found their purpose, and even more frightening is the fact that many people are not even looking for it.

Purpose is a tricky thing, but it goes hand-in-hand with happiness. It is worth examining. Your purpose cannot be too big or too small. It is YOUR purpose. You can change the world by doing great acts or by doing small acts with great purpose.

What is your purpose? Don’t we owe it to this life to find out?