Community

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It was a heartbreaking loss after a great game!  The Patriots shot three pointers like they’ve done all season.  The Hawks hit free throw after free throw. It was a sight to see.  Overtime.  How state titles should be earned!  …if only it had ended in our favor.

But today is a new day.  Today Millard South and Lincoln Southwest are once again a part of the same community, a community of athletes, of high school students, of Nebraskans. What unites them is once again stronger than what divides them.  That is always the case!

Community was proudly on display last night.

Brothers and sisters and parents and grandparents holding signs and waving pictures of their players. Family.

Cheerleaders and band members and dance teams and amazing student sections cheering on their players. School.

Guards, forwards, coaches, trainers. Team.

On both sides!

There is power in community.  There is energy and enthusiasm in community.  You could feel it in the arena.  Many voices became one. What no single person could accomplish can often be done with ease when people come together.  “Many hands make light work.”

Communities working together can do amazing things!  Imagine if those families, those teams, those schools worked together.  Imagine what they could do.  Last week I saw communities working together to clean up after tornadoes in Illinois and Missouri.  This year we have already seen communities rally together after fires and floods and blizzards.

Imagine what we could do if our communities came together for a common purpose.  Could we ensure all students have access to a quality education?  Could we guarantee care for the elderly?  End hunger?  End homelessness?  Could we see to it that every single person feels a sense of belonging, of love?

Families, teams, schools know that there is power in community.  If only we could extend that to the community of humankind.

img_4128One community walked away last night happy with the result, the other wishing the outcome had been different. But both walked away with a sense a pride, proud of what they had accomplished together through the season, proud of what can be done when we unite.

Take Your Shot

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We are in the middle of the high school basketball season.  Last night I watched an outstanding and previously undefeated team fall.  No doubt the coaches and players will analyze the game period by period.  Technique will be studied.  Plays will be debated.  And the halftime correction will be praised.  So many things factor into the outcome of a basketball game, and no doubt each one of them will be evaluated.

But there is one thing that has intrigued me week after week in game after game.  All of the players miss free throws.

Are you kidding me?  There is nothing more fundamental to the game of basketball than a free throw.  If you allow a five year old onto a basketball court, they will almost without fail take the ball to the line and take a shot.  Every day in cafeterias all around the country, middle schoolers rush through their lunch to have just a few extra minutes at the free throw line in the gym before going back to class.  Every elementary team, every high school team, every select team expects players to drill on free throws.  College players and NBA players all know that at any given time they could be standing on the free throw line, the game at stake.  Yet even in the NBA, most players only make 70-80% of their attempts.

So how is it that all of the players miss free throws?  Not just some of them, all of them.

Well, it’s not as easy as it looks.  A little like life.

Free throws and life require practice.  It is not easy for anyone.

Free throws and life require a routine.  There is comfort and  predictability in routine.  Variety is the spice of life, but muscle memory gets most things done.

Free throws and life require an uncluttered mind.  Too much anxiety, too much worry, too much overthinking takes away from our best work.  Meditation, quiet walks, and time to just disconnect allow us to be our best selves.

Free throws and life require balance.  I’m on record as saying there is no such things as a perfect “balance” between work and life. But a balanced person is on solid footing and has time for the things that matter to them.

Free throws and life require keeping your eye on the target.

Free throws and life require follow-through.

Free throws and life require style, and “granny style” is a style.

Free throws and life require getting back to zero.  Absolutely everyone misses shots.  All of us!  Take your shot.  Make it or miss it, move forward.  The next shot is waiting.

And most importantly, free throws are unopposed.  This is perhaps the most interesting thing of them all. It is about you and the ball and the basket.  You are the one who makes it.  You are the one who makes you miss.  Most of the really important things in life are between you and you.  Know yourself.  Know your goals.  Know the work needed to get it done.

Then take your shot.

You will make shots.  You will miss shots.  Such is life!  Even Stephen Curry only makes 90% of his free throws.

“And That’s as Good as I Am”

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Rarely do we get opportunities as plentiful as the Olympics to witness strength and perseverance and commitment in action.  Over and over again, we see the results of countless days, weeks, months, years of dedication to a sport.  We watch as the best in the world push themselves to be even better for this one moment in time.

There was something magical in watching Simone Biles and Aly Raisman  land perfect floor routines.  And we all reveled in the almost flawless performances by Michael Phelps.  But for me, it was not the moments of perfection that were the most powerful.  It was the moments when everything seemed to fall apart, the split seconds that went completely off course, that were the real lessons of the games.

Etenesh Diro from Ethiopia finished the semifinals in steeplechase wearing only one shoe.  After a collision with another runner, she struggled to get her shoe back on. When she couldn’t, she just took it off and threw it into the grass.  She pushed on wearing only one shoe to finish 7th in her heat.

Mo Farah of Britain won gold in the 10,000 meters after literally falling down in the middle of the race. Halfway through the competition, Mo was accidentally tripped by a friend.  He sprang back up, retook the lead, and won the race.

Michael Phelps was seconds away from anchoring the men’s 4×200 meter relay when his swim cap ripped.  In a sport where victory is measured in fractions of a second, the drag from loose hair makes a difference.  He grabbed Conor Dwyer’s cap and led the team to victory.

Often the greatest lessons come in the moments when things go wrong.  Because in life, more often than not, things go wrong.  It is not how we perform in the moments that go as planned that make us stronger people.  It is how we perform in the moments of struggle that define our greatest success.

And in these games, I learned more from someone who didn’t medal at all than from all of the medalists combined.  For the first time in history, all three women on the US women’s team finished in the top ten of the women’s marathon.  A spectacular finish- but no medals.  Years of eating clean, training daily, and let’s be honest, suffering serious blisters, and they walked away empty-handed.

In an event that didn’t exist before the 1980s because surely women could not compete at that level in distance running , the three US women were all in the fight.  At the 1/3 mark, Des Linden was actually in the lead, but as some of the other runners began to surge, she fell behind.  Despite what appeared to me to be a super-human attempt to regain her position, she ended the race in 7th place.  Des Linden would have every reason in the world to be upset, but she wasn’t.

“I put everything out there.  I’m not upset at all. I wish I were a little bit better.  I wish I would have been closer.  But we went all in.  And that’s as good as I am.”  Des Linden

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It’s not about the moment someone puts a medal around your neck.  It’s not about a few seconds on a podium or the national anthem.  Those moments are fun, no doubt.  But what lasts, what matters, is the moment you realize that you are capable of the hard work and the commitment and the perseverance necessary to honestly say, “that’s as good as I am.”  And that will always be enough.

50 Years from Now

256px-Bumblebee_Transformer_-_Flickr_-_andrewbasterfieldMy family laughs at me every time the movie Transformers is on TV.  Almost without fail, I jump into the story at the exact same moment…the point of inspiring motivation and life-changing wisdom. Do you see now why they laugh at me?  I may be the only person in history who has ever described Transformers as life-changing, but it is.

There is a scene early on when the first Transformer reveals himself as Bumblebee, an alien robot.  (And with that, the rest of you start laughing at me as well.  A movie about alien robots shares life-changing wisdom?)  But when Bumblebee invites the young heroes into his car, leading to unknown adventure and considerable risk, one of the main character hesitates.  The other one utters the words that I’ve been saying to myself ever since…

“50 years from now when you’re looking back on your life, don’t you want to say you had the guts to get into the car?”

Life is full of choices, chances to try something new.  These opportunities can also be filled with risk.  It is not easy to take a leap and jump into something unknown.  It is not easy to take a chance and know that you could fail, but nothing amazing was ever achieved without risk.

From our earliest years, we have to make choices about what adventures we will tackle and which ones we will let go.  Auditioning for the school play is a risk.  Trying out for the football team is a risk.  Taking an Advanced Placement course is a risk.  But those risks are necessary to create the best possible life.

Say yes!

I am a terrible bowler, but I always have a good time when I play.  I am not a runner, but I’ve finished three half-marathons. Stand directly under the frozen, powerful waterfall at Smith Falls on the Niobrara? Every time!

When people are asked about their greatest regret, they almost always list the things they didn’t do.  At the end of our lives, it is not what we tried and failed to do that haunts us, it is the times we failed to try.

Embracing this attitude is essential not just for the day-to-day things, but it is key to living the best possible version of your life.  Taking risks is necessary in order to find success.  Go back and get the degree.  Apply for the job that seems beyond your reach. Volunteer to be the one who fills in at a meeting or on a committee.

Every day there is a chance to say yes.  “Want to go to lunch?”  “I have an extra ticket to the game, want to come?” “We need someone to lead this project, are you interested?”  A good meal, a new relationship, a powerful experience might be the result.

Something we learn as we get older is that things will not always work out when we say yes.  There is a winner and a loser in all epic battles.  We only have one President.  We only have one state champion.  We only have one gold medalist. But without the risk of failing, we cannot succeed.

“50 years from now when you’re looking back on your life, don’t you want to say you had the guts to get into the car?”

 

I’m Ready to Break Some Rules

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I am a rule follower.  I always have been.  I was the kid in class with her hand up.  I was the one on Safety Patrol in elementary school.  I like knowing the rules, and I find comfort in following them.  I was never the “ask forgiveness not permission” person.

As a new principal, I shared my non-negotiables with our staff.  Rule following was on the list. People need to know the core values of their leader.  In education there is safety in having well-defined policies and procedures to follow.  A strong instructional model, a guaranteed viable curriculum, and a quality assessment system guide our work.  A consistent Code of Conduct and procedures for everything from field trips to facility use provide consistency.  Following them ensures equity in opportunities for children.  I know that.  I believe that.

But more and more lately, I’ve been wanting to break the rules.

We take our greatest leaps when we challenge the status quo.  There is power in examining what we are doing…and then changing it when appropriate.

I think I might be ready to rebel.  I think I might be ready to take some risks.

As a profession, we’ve been asking questions about what our most successful teachers, administrators and schools are doing.  How are they meeting the unique needs of their students? In some cases, they are breaking the rules.  In some cases, they are deviating from the standard, prescribed process.  And it’s working.

So if that’s the case, where is the line?  How do we ensure fair and equal opportunities for all students and still create an environment where people can take the risks necessary to meet the needs of each child?

Discuss openly and honestly

I want our leaders to feel safe in talking about what they are doing.  I want to ensure a culture where we can disagree and challenge each other in positive ways.

Listen

I want to get better at listening.  I want to go into these conversations without an agenda and be willing to learn.

Share what’s working

I want educators to be collaborative and not competitive.  I want our profession to be about finding what works for all kids.  I want an educational climate that focuses on sharing, so we all get better.

Trust

I want people to focus less on accountability and more on trust.  I will never stop holding myself and others accountable because our work is too important not too, but I want my default to be trust in others’ good intentions.

Risk

And finally, I want to start taking more risks.  I want to challenge more.  I want to push the boundaries more.  I think it will make me better.

Following the rules has worked out pretty well for me.  I’m not sure I’m ready to cast them all to the wind and run amok.  But with age (and maturity?) comes the recognition that challenging the status quo is a good thing.

I think I might finally be ready to break some rules!

Just Because I Beat You Doesn’t Mean I Win

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The weather was perfect this week.  We slept with the windows open, and I could hear the marching band practicing as I ate breakfast.  There is just something about this time of year.  Our cheerleaders are fired up, and our football players are ready. I spent this afternoon at a softball game as our fall sports are kicking off.

I am a football girl…the thrill of a 4th quarter comeback, the hail mary caught in the end zone, the season that starts off slowly and then suddenly catches fire.  In fact my family refuses to let people come over when my team is playing.  To say I get animated is an understatement.

I am competitive.  I want my team to win.  I want to win.

As a middle school teacher, I used friendly competition to motivate my students.  In the fall, I taught the routines and transitions for group work with the Desk Olympics.  I would time classes as they practiced getting into and out of small groups of varying sizes.  Each period competed with the other for “prizes”.  Middle school students will do anything for a piece of candy or a cheap plastic toy.

Competition is engaging.  Competition is motivating.

Competition is also dangerous at times.  There is a balance between a competition that pushes us to grow and a competition that stops us from growing others and our organization.

Athletes know, for example, that training with someone who is just a little better than they are can push them to get faster or stronger. But what happens when that competition becomes toxic?  What happens if those partners stop sharing training tips in the hopes of staying one step ahead?  “The goal in life is not to be better than anyone else.  It’s to be better than you were yesterday.”  (Jon Gordon)

It’s worth repeating that the goal should always be to create a better version of yourself and a better version of your team or organization.  Competition can fuel that drive and push you to be the best version of yourself.  If you do 10, I want to do 12.  It’s how I am wired, and I work with people who are even more competitive than I am.  I think we push each other.

But competition is complex.

Systems that compare can make it harder to create a culture that allows for  growth.  If I want my school to look better than your school, I will be less likely to work collaboratively with you.
In education we are working with and for children.  Competition between students when it comes to learning is not healthy.  Competition between schools when it comes to student achievement is not healthy.  Competition between districts when it comes to funding is not healthy.

A rising tide lifts all boats.  A colleague from another district called me this week to process through some test scores and what his school could do to address the issues.  He just needed to bounce ideas off someone.  I’ve reached out to him (and many others throughout the years) to have this same conversation.  Our collaboration is more effective than a competition could ever be.

I embrace my competitive nature.  I intend to cheer loudly next week at the first football game.  But I also appreciate that I have things to learn from other people and that they may have things to learn from me.

I don’t think competition is a bad thing, but I think we need to recognize that there should be a balance.  We need to reflect on our motives.

When we start to care as much about other people as we do about ourselves, the world will change.